INSPIRING! Of the millions of American jobs, Trump has only outsourced ONE to Russia!
Sophie Kohn | CBC Comedy | Posted: December 12, 2016 7:09 PM | Last Updated: December 12, 2016
Look. There are millions of jobs in America, and in these troubled economic times a president could perhaps be forgiven for sending many of them overseas where labour is often cheaper.
But this guy? President-elect Donald Trump? So far, he's managed to keep all the jobs in America except for one! How amazing is that?! He's somehow managed to let just one measly job slip through the cracks! Damn. What a guy.
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We should all be incredibly grateful that the guy who goes on and on and on about the importance of keeping jobs in America has so far done exactly that, with the exception of that one tiny little meaningless job, which, who even cares? You're bound to lose one here and there.
A recent report by the top intelligence operation in the country offers a few additional details about that one job: apparently it's the American presidency or whatever. - Sophie Kohn
It's kind of like when you're bowling, and you knock down nine pins instead of ten. Listen, you can't take care of 'em all. But as long as you take care of most of 'em, that's what counts.
Or when you steal a vast armful of Caramilks from the grocery store and you're rushing them out to your Hummer and there are just so many and you drop one in the parking lot. No big deal. You got tons more where that came from.
A recent report by the top intelligence operation in the country offers a few additional details about that one job: apparently it's the American presidency or whatever, and apparently Russia tampered with the very foundations of the American democratic process to ensure that Trump won the White House because he was their preferred candidate.
BORING! At the end of the day it's a numbers game, and one job is seriously nothing. The history books aren't gonna remember that the president outsourced one stupid little dumb job.
Everyone needs to relax forever. Think about how many American jobs there are in total. So Trump let one go. That's the closest to zero you can possibly get. If these past six weeks are any indication, we're in for a very conscientious presidency, even if it was manufactured in Russia.
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