Dear Darren Aronofsky: mother! sucked

Dear Mr. Aronofsky,

I just got home from seeing mother! and I felt compelled to write you. First of all, may I just say, after the bleak darkness of Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan, I am so happy that you finally decided to make a comedy. I wasn't sure if you had a sense of humour at all but mother! is definitive proof that you do.

I would argue that this film is the greatest comedy of the last 10 years. I mean, who knew that cannibalism and misogyny could be so funny? You Darren, that's who. You're such a visionary.

I know you've gotten some major criticism for the movie, but those people just don't understand art, Darren. I want you to know that I am prepared to defend you, and to defend Hollywood in its endless financing of already-rich white men's dream film projects. I think we need more pretentious, straight, white guys to share their vision of women and Mother Earth through the medium of film; there just aren't enough.

As I was watching the film, I couldn't help but wonder what inspired its creation. How many hours of HGTV binge-watching led you to making mother!? Did you watch 36 consecutive episodes of House Hunters and lose your mind? Was the writing of mother! fuelled by the rage you feel for suburban couples, obsessed with open-concept main floors and luxurious en-suites? Because if it was, I get it, Darren. I really do. The world of home renovations is a terrifying and triggering one—all of those unforeseen problems and costs? No wonder Javier Bardem's character went nuts! I want you to know that I think you did such an incredible job of depicting the psychological agony of choosing the right wall colour. And the consequences of choosing the wrong one.

Before I let you get back to writing your new screenplay, grandmother!, which I am so excited for, I want to thank you. Thank you for doing you, but more important, thank you for sharing with the world the demons that live inside your mind.

Love,
Tranna Wintour

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