'I was not OK': Canadian defender Shelina Zadorsky details recent medical ordeal

Canadian defender Shelina Zadorsky says she has emerged from a medical ordeal that started in mid-December when she found out she had COVID.

The 30-year-old from Kitchener, Ont., who has won 89 caps for Canada and captains England's Tottenham, is now back in training.

But in a social media post and video, Zadorsky details how her health deteriorated.

"In my own experience over the last three-and-a-half months, I have been dealing with health challenges relating to COVID, illness, fatigue and honestly every sick symptom you can name," wrote Zadorsky. "First let me say this is not a poor victim-me story, not is it to say that people haven't gone through MUCH WORSE than I can probably ever relate to. However, it's simply where I am at.

"And secondly, I've found that there's great agony in bearing an untold story inside of you."

Zadorsky says she took six days off over Christmas to recover from COVID. Returning to training, she says "the amount of flus and colds I picked up could not be counted on one hand."

"You brave the smile, you downplay how sick you feel, and you march on," she wrote. "Meanwhile, only the people who are closest to you know your energy is depleting and they take the brunt of that downfall."

In February, Zadorsky contracted COVID again. But after testing negative, she joined the Canadian team in Orlando for the SheBelieves Cup.

After missing training and the tournament opener against the U.S. because she felt unwell, she played 45 minutes against Brazil and the full 90 against Japan before returning to England with an FA Cup game against Reading looming three days later.

'Hoping and praying' she wouldn't play

"I finally told my [Tottenham] coach that I was not physically or mentally prepared to be at my best for the team. For once I was partly honest about the toll my body had taken."

Zadorsky was assigned to the bench for the game, "hoping and praying that I would NOT be called upon."

I truly felt that where my body went, my mind followed into the deep, dark and untouched waters.— Canadian soccer player Shelina Zadorsky on her months-long medical ordeal

After the game, she opened up to doctors and coaches. "I finally let my full guard down. I was not OK."

Zadorsky says her mental health was also suffering.

"I like to believe that where the mind goes the body follows, but in this instance, I truly felt that where my body went, my mind followed into the deep, dark and untouched waters.

"Why couldn't I complete simple tasks without wanting to cry, scream or sleep? Why was I getting angry at innocuous things? Why did I feel like I was never going to feel like myself again, a high-energy, bubbly, healthy, happy person?"

Further testing in February showed she had contracted glandular fever and tested positive for celiac disease.

"Those results, combined with playing 30-plus games, touching five continents, eight different countries and countless cities, all since July, may have just tipped me over the edge," she wrote.

The good news is Zadorsky says she is back and "will be stronger than ever."

"The joy of being back on the pitch with my teammates is unreal. The unknown can be unsettling for everyone, but what is known is that I will continue to prepare to perform at my absolute best for my club and country."

She ends her message on a positive note.

"Truly this message is to anyone who is struggling. You are not alone, so take the small wins, reach out for help, and whether good or bad, this too shall pass."