Rachel Seaman's Olympic pursuit ends with 2 partially torn hamstrings

By Doug Harrison

It's June 23, Olympic Day, and Rachel Seaman spends the early-morning hours looking at photos from the 2012 London Summer Games, recapturing the moment of her 52nd-place finish in the women's 20-kilometre racewalk and trying to make some sense of why she won't compete at the Rio Olympics.

In January, Seaman, who had never suffered a minor injury, experienced discomfort in her left hamstring. She competed indoors at an event in California on Jan. 2 and hasn't raced since.

An MRI exam in March disclosed a partial tear in both of Seaman's hamstrings. The Canadian record holder worked feverishly at her rehab, seeing three different therapists a week, making twice-weekly visits to a strength trainer and meeting with a sports psychologist.

It wasn't enough, though, as the 30-year-old Seaman made the heart-breaking decision on June 15 to withdraw from Rio after qualifying for the Olympics last August at the world track and field championships in Beijing, China.

"It just tore me apart, this injury," Seaman, on the verge of tears, said over the phone from her San Diego home. "I don't have the motivation to be doing my regular routine because I've been so disappointed. I'm trying to crawl back from that but that day was so overwhelming because it [meant the Olympic dream] really was over.

"I do feel some relief that I don't have to be fighting as hard anymore and not seeing much improvement."

Nearly three months after learning of the severity of her injury, Seaman talked of being in mourning after holding an optimistic and positive outlook soon after her diagnosis.

In her June 14 blog, My Olympic Nightmare, Seaman wrote that her injury made her feel, at times, unmotivated to cook her family's daily meals.

She also told CBC Sports that her desire for racewalking has soured since the injury.

"It's been hard," said Seaman, "because I either haven't been able to train the way I'm supposed to, or it's been painful while I've tried to do it. It's not that I don't love it, but I love the memory of when I am feeling good."

Emotional strain

Seaman admitted to taking her health for granted, believing an injury free athletic career would continue, but now understands she shouldn't expect things to not happen.

Seaman also realized her strength in persevering through the injury process, although she's convinced she hasn't absorbed things entirely due to the emotional strain.

"Going through this will help in the future because it helps you appreciate what you do even more," Seaman said. "When you come back from this, you can fight that much more because you know your goals are stronger."

Seaman, who lists a medal at the 2018 Commonwealth Games and top-10 finish at the 2020 Olympics among her future goals, said she has been comforted by the significant response from her blog and kind words from Canadian track stars such as 800-metre runner Melissa Bishop and high jumper Derek Drouin during a June visit to Victoria for treatment.

The women's 20 km racewalk in Rio is Aug. 19 and Seaman has experienced mixed emotions.

"I do have such good memories from before London of the Games, the excitement," she said. "I'm a sports fan, a track fan, anyways. In some ways, I can't imagine not watching it."

Seaman's husband Tim coaches some of her American competitors. "So it's been harder to escape everything because he's still very involved."

And then there's Miranda Melville, Seaman's training partner, who will likely compete in her first Olympics. She's trying to be supportive but finds it difficult.

"As excited as I am for her," Seaman said, "I'm more devastated for myself. Sometimes I think I'll watch it like a spectator because I do love [racewalking] so much, but part of me wants to be away from it. I'll have to see how my mind reacts as we get closer [to the race] if I'm drawn to watching it."