Canada's Gagne admits HGH use with Dodgers

Gone is the wild hair and goggles, replaced by short hair and Lasik eye surgery.

Eric Gagne has cleaned up, in more ways than one, and is gearing up for a tough battle to win a job in the Los Angeles Dodgers bullpen.

The team's former closer tips the scales at 231 pounds — seven less than his playing weight in 2008 — saying it was necessary to take pressure off his back after having two discs removed in 2006.

But there are those who would say the weight loss is a telltale sign of no longer using human growth hormone.

"I did [use HGH]," the Montreal native told the Los Angeles Times this week. "I hate to talk about it. It just doesn't do anyone any good.

"I thought it would help me get better when I hurt my knee. I'm so ashamed. It wasn't smart. I regret it so much, just now maybe getting over the guilt."

When the Times asked Gagne what he would tell his children about his tarnised career, the father of four said he would be straight up.

"I'll make them understand action and reactions to those actions, and making a decision and living with the consequences. I will have to live with the mistake that I made for the rest of my life."

Gagne added, "I've got a lot of regrets," but said he's looking forward to doing what he loves, playing baseball again.

The 34-year-old last pitched in a major league game in 2008 with Milwaukee when he was 4-3 with a 5.44 earned-run average and 10 saves for the Brewers, who released Gagne from a minor league contract last March after doctors found he had a frayed rotator cuff.

Gagne won the 2003 National League Cy Young with the Dodgers, when he converted all 55 save chances, and saved 152 games in three seasons through 2004.

The six-foot hurler converted a record 84 consecutive save chances during that time, but had operations on his pitching elbow in 2005 and 2006, and back surgery in 2006.

Gagne isn't certain his numerous injuries in recent years are the result of his taking HGH.

"I don't know how it reacts on your body like that, but from what I've heard, it doesn't help," he told the Times."

Whatever the case, Gagne said he's in the best shape of his life mentally and physically.

The right-hander's odds of winning a job out of spring training appear to be long, given the strength of the Dodgers' relief corps and the fact his fastball is being clocked a lot closer to 90 m.p.h. than the 100 he used to touch.

Gagne, though, would consider a stint at AAA to work on his game if he doesn't make the opening-day roster, even though there is an out clause in his contract — $500,000 US guaranteed, $500,000 in incentives.