How money defines one woman on a limited income

Sometimes you'll find Kelly Lalande at her local library, skimming through a cookbook, looking at pictures of delicious meals.

Celebrity chef Rachael Ray is her favourite.

"When I look at the pictures I get a feeling of dread and wanting to be able to make those items and knowing that I don't have the money to afford the ingredients for some of the recipes and, then, being very depressed," says Kelly.

Kelly does this because she says she likes to think about the things she'd like to have "in a great world, in a wonderful world."

Kelly is a Torontonian who earns less than $1000 a month.

She receives social assistance payments from the Ontario Disability Support Program​ and lives in community housing.

When all of her bills and other expenses are paid, Kelly says she has about $50 a month left for food and transportation.

Out in the Open talked to Kelly at her local library because she says she felt uncomfortable doing the interview in her apartment, partly because her building has a cockroach and a bed bug infestation.

"The roaches run around occasionally and the bed bugs. I'm afraid to bring anybody into the apartment. I never know if they put their coat down or their purse and then one can scurry into their purse, or their coat."

"Did you feel like I might judge you?" asked Out in the Open producer, Debbie Pacheco.

"Maybe. Yah. It's the ostracization that I'm worried about," says Kelly.

"I try to think of the general population as not being all that judgemental but I feel like I can't live up to their standards...I think people think an awful lot less of people who do not have money, at least that's the way I feel."