How this stay-at-home father is trying to be a different kind of dad
David Bacque doesn't believe his father, who passed away in 2007, would approve of how he's parenting
At the same time David Bacque of Calgary lost his job as a geologist, his wife Krista was about to give birth to their first child. The family decided to take advantage of the situation and have him become a stay-at-home parent.
This approach is worlds apart from how Bacque was raised.
"In my family growing up, and in my extended family, there's definitely a lot of differences," he explained. "Kneeling on the floor to play toys — it's just something that my father would never have done."
During his time with his son Benjamin, Bacque has started a popular Instagram account, documenting their time together using creative photos and videos.
One of his recent posts explains why he's trying to be a different kind of father:
I grew up with a very traditional father. He wasn't a mean man and I knew that I was loved but he did lack emotional availability. Sure, he would show emotion if he was trying to fix something around the house and it wasn't going well.
If I'd done something wrong, I'd get an angry glare. Other than that, he didn't show much emotion. I didn't think much of this when I was growing up because, well, that's just how fathers are, right? That's how my friend's fathers were and that's just how it was.
It wasn't until I'd moved away from home that I looked back and wondered why my dad discouraged the feelings I had as a boy: "Don't cry", and "Don't let your feelings get in the way" are phrases I heard often from my father. I'm sure he didn't say those things to be hurtful.
He was just trying his best to make me a "man" as he understood it.
Bacque doesn't believe his father, who passed away in 2007, would approve of how he's parenting today.
"He would definitely think it's not a father's role or a man's role to stay home with a child," he said. "That would be a mother's role."
Bacque has made a conscious decision to do things differently.
"If Benjamin is having an emotional time I don't try to hurry his feelings or shun them or anything like that," he said. "I just sit in the moment with him and embrace any feeling he has."
Recently, young Benjamin decided to paint his toenails, just like his mother was doing. That would have been hard to imagine when Bacque was growing up.
'I remember once I dressed up as Cher for Halloween. My father saw me dressed as a woman. I was told to instantly take it off and put something else on.- David Bacque
It's not just his father who would disapprove of Bacque's decision to stay at home with his young son.
"It was my aunts and even my mom at times saying: 'When are you going to go back to work?'" he said. "It's ingrained in their minds that I should be the one working and my wife Krista should be the one at home with Benjamin."
These days, as Bacque and his wife eagerly await the arrival of their second child, one thing is for sure — Bacque is committed to staying at home to raise his children, at least until they are school age.
"Benjamin is just like a beacon of joy and happiness," he said. "I couldn't imagine not being around him all the time."
