This teen worries N.B.'s gender identity policy change started a chain reaction
Sade London wants officials to talk to students first before enacting policy
Sade London, a non-binary high school student from Saint John, N.B., isn't proud to say their province was the first when it comes to changing policy regarding pronoun use in schools.
They say they're worried about what could happen to LGBTQ youth in different parts of Canada now that other provinces are looking at obtaining parental consent before their child can use a chosen name or pronoun at school.
"It's a very sickening situation. And the fact that it's being spread to more than my province... it makes my stomach turn," said London, who is about to start Grade 11.
London was among the students who protested New Brunswick's changes to its Policy 713 earlier this year.
Last week, Saskatchewan's Education Minister Dustin Duncan announced a pronoun consent policy for students under 16 that echoed the changes in New Brunswick.
Duncan says the policy in Saskatchewan is meant to increase parental involvement and make sure kids are safe in schools. The policy is facing a challenge from the Canadian Civil Liberties Association (CCLA), who argue it's discriminatory because it singles out students who are trans and gender-diverse.
Saskatchewn Premier Scott Moe defended the government's move by citing an Angus Reid poll that found most Canadians surveyed support the idea that parents should be informed if their child changes pronouns at school.
A number of teachers, LGBTQ activists and students have come out to say they believe these policies could endanger youth.
"If parents that aren't very accepting … find out their kid is trans and is trying to live out their true life at school, they can get very angry and it can end in very serious situations," said London.
They spoke with Day 6 guest host Stephanie Skenderis about experimenting with their gender identity at school and why politicians should talk to LGBTQ youth before drafting policy. Here is part of their conversation.
What does it mean to you to have people in your school community call you by the right name and pronouns?
It is the most affirming thing ever. I'm so excited to go back to school. It's only August, but to know I get to exist as Sade, which is a chosen name of mine, and get to also be called they and he and not just she is so exciting.
I just feel a lot like myself. It's just like a form of expression, like listening to different music or like drinking the same brand of coffee every day.
What does it feel like to be called by a name or by pronouns that don't match your gender identity?
It's really weird. Sometimes I forget who it is because I feel so affirmed in a lot of areas of my life, especially school. But being called a name that doesn't line up with me is just confusing. And it feels like people have a lack of respect for me and how I want to be referred to.
Can you help us understand why some students use different pronouns at school than at home?
Using different pronouns at school — it felt like a safe — like an experimental zone, because I knew the staff and the students around me were really supportive. And if I wanted to only go by she/her or only go by they/them ... the people around me would support me without knowing me my whole life, like my family or like anyone in my home situation.
Do you know anyone who doesn't want to tell their parents?
I know multiple friends that don't want to tell their parents and have admitted the fact that they might not use the same pronouns that align with their sex assigned at birth. There's so many more than you might think.
Something we've been hearing is that some parents who are in favour of policy changes, like the ones in New Brunswick or Saskatchewan, say that they feel they have the right to know what their kids are doing in school. What would you say to them?
Kids themselves and these trans kids in this situation know [which] people around them are safe more than anyone. They know if their parents are a safe place to go to or if they feel comfortable talking to them about that sort of situation. Even though it's a very new concept to so many, it's ultimately up to the parents to create that safe space for their kids to be able to tell them these things.
And maybe school does that first and maybe friends [do] that first — create that safe space first before parents do for kids, which is an unfortunate reality. But you shouldn't have to force your kid to tell you about these things. They should want to come to you because they think of you as a safe space.
When you look at your own school system, how do you think your teachers are going to deal with this situation?
Before I even started writing the name Sade on my tests and quizzes and homework that I handed in at school, I also wrote my other name in brackets just so my teachers should know who's who.
My teachers picked up my name very, very quickly and heard it amongst friends, and it was so empowering and validating to just know that like — I'd been outed non-binary — but once I came up with a new name, they were just so supportive … I know a lot of teachers take pride in the fact that they can have a safe space for kids at school ... Having to decide that and putting that weight on their shoulders to decide if it's okay, it hurts my heart because I know so many of them just want to [create] an accepting space.
Radio segment produced by Mickie Edwards. Q&A edited for length and clarity.
