N.B. gender-identity policy will keep kids in the closet, says father of trans teen
Advocate report recommends changes to Policy 713 in schools
Shawn Rouse and his wife weren't the first people their youngest child came out to as trans.
Levi talked with friends and other trusted people at school about his gender identity before coming out at home.
Rouse, the father of three from Quispamsis, N.B., said he's OK with that.
"When they were ready, they came to us and said, you know, 'This is who I think I am,'" he told The Current's guest host Catherine Cullen.
Rouse said he wanted to know everything that was going on with his children as they grew into teenagers, but came to understand they needed a "zone of privacy" to be able to go through the process of figuring themselves out.
"I think this is normal," he said.
But with the changes that New Brunswick's Education Minister Bill Hogan made to Policy 713 on sexual orientation and gender-identity in June, things might not have played out this way.
The revisions make it mandatory for school teachers and staff to deny requests from children under 16 to use different names or pronouns without their parents' permission.
Previously, students could speak with teachers to decide what they wanted people to call them in day-to-day interactions. Officially changing their name could still only be done at age 16, with parental consent, said New Brunswick's child and youth advocate Kelly Lamrock.
WATCH: New Brunswick child advocate Kelly Lamrock slams LGBTQ school policy changes
On Aug. 15, Lamrock — a former Liberal cabinet minister-turned-NDP candidate-turned Progressive Conservative adviser — released a report outlining how the policy changes could violate provincial law and the Charter rights of children, and leave teachers and administrative staff legally vulnerable.
Lamrock consulted queer and trans youth, including Levi, in the process, as well as parents, teachers, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers who told him they can't follow Policy 713 without violating their code of ethics.
The courage to come out
Many of the young people Lamrock interviewed said they needed space to talk to peers and other trusted adults before coming out to their parents.
"Parents are often the most important conversation a child has when they're coming out," Rouse said, adding that it's important that they feel ready and not rushed.
Rouse is concerned that preventing kids and teens from doing any social transitioning with friends at school before they come out to their parents can ultimately keep them in the closet.
"And when they're in the closet, they're suffering," he said.
Premier Blaine Higgs has defended the changes to Policy 713, arguing that parents have the right to know if their child is questioning their gender identity and the right to pass their values on in the home.
"Where the premier and I part ways, is you don't have the right to a big government apparatus that follows your child around forcing them to live by your values when they're out in the community," Lamrock told The Current.
"Your child doesn't have to share your values when they get old enough to make their own decisions."
Our Duty Canada, a group that describes itself as a support network for parents of children and adolescents "captured by gender ideation," argues that allowing the use of different names and pronouns at school without telling parents "teaches vulnerable children that keeping secrets from parents is okay."
Rouse has a different perspective. He says many children are afraid to come out at home because they fear they'll be rejected, adding that children with parents who don't support LGBTQ rights are being "left out in the cold" by the premier's changes.
"The only avenue is to tell your parents and get them to support you," he said. "And if they don't, tough luck."
The recommendations in Lamrock's report say that by middle school, children should be able to ask for a different name or set of pronouns than what the school has on file, and teachers should respect the request.
Rouse is hopeful the report will result in changes to a more balanced policy.
But as the start of the school year nears, Lamrock is unsure. He likened Higgs's reading of the report to a choose-your-own-adventure book.
"I think there are two possible outcomes. The government can double down and push on, even though [the policy] violates the Privacy Act and Human Rights Act, and will face court challenges," he said.
"Or, we can have a policy that respects children's capacity, puts parents back into the mix, has an extra layer of protection for younger children and has a process where everyone is clear. And I hope they choose option B."
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Audio produced by Julie Crysler, Joana Draghici and Arielle Piat-Sauvé