Does eating an egg salad sandwich in public count as a 'barbaric cultural practice?'
An election promise from the Conservative party to create a tip line for "barbaric cultural practices" sparked rage on the Internet this week, with people reporting their own "barbaric cultural practices" — such as men wearing socks and sandals.
The announcement is tied to the Zero Tolerance for Barbaric Cultural Practices Act, which received royal assent in June.
It's absurd to say you're defending Canadian values by absolutely turning your back on Canadian values.- Eric Peterson
"We need to stand up for our values," said Conservative candidate Chris Alexander at an announcement last week. "We need to do that in citizenship ceremonies. We need to do that to protect women and girls from forced marriage and other barbaric practices."
Because News' panel Eric Peterson, Leslie Seiler and Arthur Simeon each placed their own fake calls to the "tip-line," to report their ideas of barbaric cultural practices.
No breakfast booze
"Hi, this is Nancy. I was just at the Pancake House this morning and I tried to order a Caesar at 10:30 a.m. and I was told that I can't get one until 11, so I asked for a rosé and I still couldn't get it," Leslie Seiler said in her message.
'Mass torture' at the airport: Peterson
"I want to report mass torture. There's mass torture taking place at all the airports in this country," whispered Eric Peterson, the star of Canadian TV shows Corner Gas and Street Legal.
Peterson reported self-check in, baggage fees, and a lack of leg room on planes as "barbaric."
"These seats would be uncomfortable for kindergarten children. It's taking place in our very own country!"
Egg salad sandwiches
"I've always felt that there was a need for a number you can call when people are eating egg salad sandwiches in public and I think this is the one thing we can use it for," said Simeon.
"I've always wondered who can I call for this — not 9-1-1 for sure - but I've thought about it."
Is the tip-line announcement #rageworthy?
After the fake calls, host Gavin Crawford wanted to know if they consider the election promise to be rageworthy.
"Absolutely, it's terrible. It's like early stages fascism," said Peterson.
"This is a country that's about diversity, it's about different cultures — and again this idea of snitching on your neighbour … it's Kafka-esque. It's absurd to say you're defending Canadian values by absolutely turning your back on Canadian values."
Do you think it's rageworthy? Take our poll.
What would you report to the barbaric cultural practices hotline? Record a video or voice memo, and tweet it to @CBCBecauseNews with the hashtag #barbaricculturalpractices.