Staten Island has a scary clown problem.. or does it?

In the future, you'll be hiding in a panic room with your grandchildren. Through the door you'll hear the shuffling of giant shoes, and then -- chilling your blood -- the tell tale squeak of a balloon being twisted into the shape of a poodle. You'll clutch your protective seltzer bottle tightly, and then your grandson will ask, in a trembling voice, "How did the clown invasion begin?"

And you'll tell them. You'll tell them it started with a being known as the "Northampton Clown", who suddenly started appearing in that town in central England -- just standing there, grinning, holding balloons.

He had his own Facebook page, where he'd post things like, "Mmm...there's some people that are really annoying me. Maybe I'll get them tonight", accompanied by a winkyface emoticon.

"Sure, we were scared," you'll tell your shivering grandchildren. "But mostly we made jokes to hide it. And then..." Your voice will trail off. Because now you'll tell them about the arrival of...the Staten Island Clown.

"We're Doomed"

You'll describe the photos. The humanoid standing out by the Richmond Valley train station, in a yellow suit with big red buttons. The red nose. Its red shoes. The arched eyebrows. The black, vacant eyes. The balloons. 

Sure, there were claims that the Staten Island clown was really just a marketing ploy for a local film production company. And there was evidence to prove it. But even after that story broke, the clown kept showing up.

"So are we doomed then?" your granddaughter will pipe up. Just then, you'll hear a tiny-sounding car pull up outside.

"Yes," you'll whisper. "We're doomed."