Note: Transcripts may contain errors. If you wish to re-use all, or part of, a transcript, please contact CBC for permission. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print. Copyright © CBC 2016

The AIH Transcript for December 22, 2016

Hosts: Helen Mann and Jeff Douglas

STORIES FROM THIS EPISODE

Prologue

HM: Hello, I'm Helen Mann, sitting in for Carol Off.

JD: Good evening, I'm Jeff Douglas. This is As It Happens.

[Music : Theme]

JD: Tonight:

HM: They haven't met their grandchildren – but they've seen them in a hostage video. Linda and Patrick Boyle share the heartbreak of having their son, their daughter-in-law – and now, their two grandchildren – held captive in Afghanistan.

JD: Opportunity nukes. Russian president Vladimir Putin and U.S. president-elect Donald Trump are suddenly both keen to restart the arms race. Our guest does not share their enthusiasm.

HM: A perception of failed interception. There's a big reward out for the man suspected of the truck attack on the Berlin Christmas market – and a lot of questions about why he was free to drive that truck in the first place.

JD: Paper clips. We return to the fold, and the unfolded, on tonight's trip into the "As It Happens" archives – with stories about paper used for messages, used for cookbooks, and – in one case – used as cannons.

HM: What do you get for the person who has almost nothing? And what do you give to get it? Jim and Della exchange much more than gift cards tonight – when we present Fireside Al's reading of "The Gift of the Magi."

JD: And...it's sad to hear about a politicians lining their pockets. But members of Parliament are only doing it to protect those vulnerable pockets from the chairs in the House of Commons – which keep tearing people's trousers.
As It Happens, the Thursday edition. Radio that shares many a ripping yarn.

[Music]

Part 1: Afghanistan hostage parents, Berlin market attack follow-up, torn pants MP

Afghanistan Hostage Parents

Guests: Linda and Patrick Boyle

JD: Viewing a hostage video is a strange and heartbreaking way to meet your grandchildren for the first time. But Linda and Patrick Boyle have no choice. Four years ago, their son Joshua and his wife Caitlan Coleman were taken hostage in Afghanistan by the Taliban linked Haqqani network. They were backpacking near Kabul at the time. In a video released earlier this week, the Boyles saw Joshua and Caitlan again, but alongside them this time were their two young sons. The release of the video has prompted Linda and Patrick to speak out. And we reached them near Ottawa.

HM: Patrick let me start with you, and ask what it was like for you to watch this video?

PATRICK BOYLE: Oh it was wonderful. It's just incredible to see our grandsons for the first time and to see all four together as a family for the first time. Obviously there were mixed emotions because while we're seeing them be normal little boys caring for each other and interacting and making faces and picking their noses, we're hearing Joshua’s leg chain dangling, we're listening to their mother describing being defiled.

HM: That's a terrible juxtaposition. Seeing these little faces and then hearing that story.

PB: This is a story of juxtapositions for four years.

HM: Linda how about you tell us about seeing the video and the feelings that that went through you?

LINDA BOYLE: I think just because of that previous video I had actually purposely turned the volume off for the first time to watch it through so I was just focusing on them and looking at them and I was just enjoying my grandchildren, actually looking at them for the first time. So I watched that first and then turned on the volume and watched it with two of my kids were here too, so we watched it together. And it was just that sort of frightening… it shocks you. And I guess it was one of them who heard the leg chains. And oh my gosh, they're shackled and you know it's like, oh they look like such a beautiful family and then, the reality gets you.

HM: And Caitlan references in the video that these are her two surviving children. What does she mean by that?

PB: I think she's confirming that they've lost another child. And that's why she’s used that word. We thought we understood that from the letters they’d written.

HM: Statements from both Joshua and Caitlan, as you've both alluded to, are very disturbing. Caitlan is speaking of being violated in front of her children. Looking at their faces, what you could see of them, what is your sense of their well-being? How they're doing?

LB: Of Josh and Kate? They're certainly healthier looking than the first two videos we were sent a couple years ago. I think I saw in both of them a lot of… how would I describe… defiant anger. And I actually see that as a good thing because I think that's what keeps them strong and keeps them going. I think without that they would just break. You know.

PB: They certainly are resilient and holding up after four plus years to an extent, I can't imagine I could even do that. But I would hope I could do as well as the two of them both upholding each other and getting their children through this this far so well.

LB: Josh, in one of his letters, you know, I guess we're lucky the whole family does have a sense of humor and we try and use that especially in tough times to get through it. He does talk in one of his letters about them just not understanding the irreverence of the Irish. And then in the next sentence he says by the way I’ll need dental work. So it's a sad one because obviously he's referring to you know… being beaten or whatever for that attitude, but at the same time it actually, I know, it's that strength that keeps them going.

HM: So you recognize the son that you know in these videos?

PB: In these videos and in the letters. Absolutely.

LB: Absolutely.

PB: That is our Josh and that’s certainly the Cait we knew.

HM: Linda in a letter that you received from Josh, he says that he and Caitlan try to keep the spirits high for the children by playing “Life is beautiful.” What do you think he meant?

LB: Well he's referring to the movie, you know in a concentration camp, and trying not to let the son know how bad his circumstances are. And you know that that was definitely probably one of the saddest parts of that letter, was trying to imagine, especially here in North America how our kids grow up, and and it just really makes you realize that's not the average lifestyle. You know.

HM: Patrick, in the video Caitlan who's American, is heard urging Washington to negotiate for the family's release. How much of the message that she delivers do you think is her own words? How much perhaps for her captors?

PB: I think that Josh and her own words, their choice of words, but clearly the messaging is coming from their captors. Captors are getting them to say “the timing is now. We're ready to talk.” They make it clear why between this video and the last threatening video of August, that there are two reasons. One is there are a Haqqani network members and Haqqani family members including Anas Haqqani, on trial in Afghanistan and they would like their family members and group members back.
And secondly they're very clear that there's a presidential transition in the United States that provides an opportunity and I think that's again the captors, recognizing that intersects with the Haqqani trial. And they're they're very clear from these two videos. The timing the context that the demands are to governments that's consistent since the beginning of communications, not to families. And they’re are Canadian-American family but only governments are going to be able to resolve this, or not, if that's their choice. And it really comes down to the Afghan government who are the ones holding the Haqqani family members, and the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan. You know, we know it is the Taliban, they are a government in exile and in waiting I guess. But they're holding Joshua and Caity and their two sons. So it's really those two governments that have to make this happen. If it's to happen the way the captors want. And I think well Caity and Josh both only talked to the U.S. government in this video, they've been clear in their other letters and other videos, that they're talking to both. And clearly the Canadian and U.S. governments can use diplomatic means to try and make that happen between the government of Afghanistan and the Taliban.

HM: Linda, we have seen again recently, reiterations from the Canadian government that they don't negotiate for Canadian hostages. The U.S. has got a longstanding policy very similar to that in in terms of giving up prisoners, giving money anything like that. Are you hopeful that things might change now that there is going to be a new administration in Washington?

LB: I don't know what to expect from the new administration, how that will go. I think there are just many diplomatic methods where you don't have to give them what they want, but you can. I mean we deal with countries we don't agree with. There are human rights issues all the time. We do it with China and other countries and yet we still deal with them. So there can be ways around it. I'm just hoping they can all agree on that.

HM: What about the Canadian government. What do you think that they should be doing? Is there something that they can be doing?

LB: Obviously we're counting on the government right now to get our children home because no demand has ever been made on us. So I would be rather stupid right now to say anything negative of the government. But that being said, I you know I don't think Canada has a lot of resources, so that…

PB: Canada and the U.S. at the level of many agencies are doing everything that can, have been all along. And these are both countries that have that stated public policy. And some people believe it and some people don't and some people read history and say it can't be true. Some people believe it is. The important thing is the captors don’t think it is. They've known from the first they with their passports taken that they were Canadian and American. They didn't let them go commit and they didn’t kill them. They're still wanting to talk. They don't believe they there's no way to make this happen.

HM: It's hard to believe. You know four years is a very long time. You've seen and you've alluded to some of the more difficult things they're explaining about their captivity and the abuses that they've suffered but have you had any sense in the communications you've had from Joshua and Caitlan what their day to day lives are like?

LB: Well we only got the first letter a year ago and then a second letter a few months after that. Nothing since other than these two terrible videos. But yeah it's been harsher than anybody imagined. It's where, even when I let my thoughts go to how bad could it be, I think it's passed beyond that.

PB: We were pleased to see they seem to be together right now or interacting with each other as though they're together often. We don't think that was always the case. So the greatest sense we've had of how the day to day lives together are really captured I think in Joshua's sentence about that film.

HM: You are in contact, I understand, with Caitlin's family as well. I'm just wondering how all of you cope, what you provide to each other, in the way of support.

LB: Well, you know just talking with one another. I mean on a kind of superficial level. The perfect example was just in the last month we heard Cait- Lynn, Cait’s mom talk about, you know talk about how they just couldn't get themselves put up the Christmas tree or decorations this year. And we, not knowing that, sent them as a Christmas gift a Christmas tree and ... so they have one now. And I was saying to the kids, I'm not going to get the Christmas baking and everything done and sure enough a package arrives with Christmas baking. It's just little things like that that seem silly and very superficial but it's little things, just talking to each other and being there for each other and just sort of anticipating what times are going to be hard and when you need to talk and when you just need to be silent.

HM: And I imagine this is a particularly difficult time of year.

LB: Every day is difficult. No it doesn't change depending on the day.

HM: Thank you very much for speaking with us. I know this is a difficult conversation to have. And we do appreciate very much that you've agreed to speak with us today. Thank you so much.

PB: Thank you very much for your–

LB: Thank you for listening.

HM: My best to you both. Thank you. Bye bye.

PB: Merry Christmas.

JD: Linda and Patrick Boyle’s son Joshua, his wife Caitlan, and their two small children, are being held as hostages in Afghanistan by the Taliban linked Haqqani network. We reached Linda and Patrick Boyle near Ottawa. For more on the story, go to our website cbc.ca/aih.

[Music]

Berlin market attack follow up

Guest: Stephan Mayer

JD: A young Tunisian man is suspected of killing 12 people and injuring many many more in the attack on a Berlin Christmas market on Monday. Both Mr. Amri’s wallet and his fingerprints were found in the truck used in the attack. And he has turned up on the authorities’ radar before. That is why people are wondering whether Monday's violence could have been prevented. Stephan Mayer is a member of German parliament and the Home Affairs spokesperson for Angela Merkel's Christian Democrats. We reached Mr. Mayer in Munich.

HM: Mr. Mayer how much is known about the suspect in this attack, Anis Amri?

STEPHAN MAYER: There are hints that this horrible attack from last Monday in Berlin was Anis Amri. He’s from Tunisia and he's 25 years old. And he committed already quite heavy crimes in Tunisia and afterwards when he made it to Italy also in Italy so he spent four years in custody in Italy and now law enforcement agencies and the prosecutors have quite clear evidence that he was the guy who drove and who guided the lorry to the Christmas market last Monday in the heart of Berlin.

HM: You mention this criminal history but what do we know about his possible radicalization or connections that he might have with ISIS for example?

SM: There are also clear hints that he is a radical Islamist. He was under suspicion within the last months and our intelligence services in Berlin and in [unintelligible] and this failure controlled him but unfortunately only until September and then they stopped controlling him. And this was certainly a very big mistake. And for a certain time, there was prosecution after him because it was suspected that he was planning a bombing in Germany but this prosecution was stopped because there was no clear evidence at this time. And yeah unfortunately our internal intelligence services in Berlin and in Australia didn't look after him after September. And so he had the chance to disappear.

HM: So he was in custody… he was released because they didn't feel the case was strong enough. I guess the judge made that decision, is that right?

SM: He wasn't in custody because of the prosecution. He was in custody for one day in Wittenberg because there were several attempts to push him back to withdraw him from Germany to Tunisia. But unfortunately the judge decided that he had to be released after one day because it was not clear at this time that he had the Tunisian citizenship. And so the judge decided that it's not possible to withdraw him to Tunisia at this time because it had to be clarified if he is really a Tunisian guy.

HM: You mentioned that he was monitored by authorities until September but that they failed to continue that. Why is that? Is it clear why he was not under continuing surveillance?

SM: To be honest it's not clear yet. And certainly these are open questions. And certainly we will go after these questions so immediately after the Christmas holidays because certainly the German citizens have the right to know why intelligence services stopped monitoring,to monitor him. It is said that there was no clear evidence that he was a radical Islamist but he was in touch with some with some Islamists, some very very radical Islamists. So in my eyes it was clear that he was one of the most dangerous guys in Germany. And so no one understands why they stopped monitoring him.

HM: Are there others in Germany who are suspected in a similar way who are also walking around free and also not being monitored as far as you know?

SM: We hope not. But certainly no one can testify this. And until now it's not clear if Amri worked for himself or he was part of a network or part of a group. Certainly this is an open question as well if there are other guys who are connected to him and we really have to be concerned. Germany isn't used to this type of terror. So these are very difficult days. This now is it's really a big shock for Germany and for the German citizens. And we hope that this won't occur again.

HM: What kind of consequences might this have do you think for Angela Merkel, who has been under increasing criticism because of her welcoming of so many migrants, and fears among some people that this kind of thing might happen, that that people might slip into the country and not be monitored and pose a danger?

SM: Firstly I want to stress very intensively that all the remarks, especially from the right-wing populists of the so-called Alternative for Germany, that the deaths of last Monday are the deaths of Angela Merkel… it's not acceptable. It's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. You can't draw an absolute conclusion from the refugee policy and from the refugee crisis to this horrible attack from last Monday. But on the other hand I think those who say you have to differentiate completely between the refugee crisis and the migration crisis, on the one hand and the Islamist terror and on the other hand, they are not right as well because there is a link.
Amri made it to Germany last year as a so-called refugee. And so certainly I think after the New Year s Day, we will have a very intensive discussion in Germany not only about the consequences. I think we have to amend our security and also make a migration law, we'd have to make it even more stricter on the one hand, and on the other hand, I fear that we get a very intensive discussion in Germany about if we were too open for refugees and for asylum seekers especially in 2015 when there were periods of time in which 10,000 refugees came per day. And a lot of them were not controlled, were not registered. And among them, there was Amri and perhaps other Islamists which hide in Germany and are ready to commit comparable horrible attacks.

HM: Mr. Mayer thank you for speaking with us.

SM: Thank you very much, and I wish you a Merry Christmas and all the best for the next year.

HM: And to you. Good bye

SM: Bye bye.

JD: Stephan Mayer is a member of German parliament. He is also the Home Affairs spokesperson for Angela Merkel's Christian Democrats. We reached him in Munich.

[Music]

Torn pants MP

Guest: David Graham

JD: Canada's parliament buildings in Ottawa are ornate places. Gothic revival architecture, collections of artwork, carefully crafted furnishings. Our MP should consider it a privilege to work in these hallowed chambers and most do.
But one Liberal MP has a complaint. It is about his chair in the House of Commons. It is not an aesthetic complaint. Mind you, he says his seat keeps attacking him, or less dramatically, that the chairs’ prickly embellishments tend to rip the pockets on his trousers. We reached Quebec MP David Graham employee in Mont-Laurier, Quebec.

HM: Mr. Graham, you have been an MP for what 14 months now?

DG: Yup, that's about right, for one month and three days.

HM: So how many pants pockets have you ripped in that time?

DG: I’ve ripped the same pair of pants a few times. I've torn my pocket about six times so far.

HM: Six times?

DG: Six times.

HM: So what's causing that?

DG: Well in the House of Commons chamber, the chairs have fall ridges. So if you sit down, not quite perfectly, you'll suddenly feel a bit of pressure and need to go to the tailor.

HM: And are these ridges in the seat part or the back part of the chair?

DG: The armrest. So it's the armrest are plated and there's a small ridge, a large ridge, and a small ridge again. And so the inner small ridge will catch anything that's hanging out.

HM: And when you say you're ripping them, I mean how badly is it? The base of the pocket, the whole thing?

DG: They just rip down the seam. It's not a huge deal, it’s just a nuisance a lot of people have noted.

HM: So have you got a good tailor?

DG: The House of Commons has a dry cleaner which does repairs.

HM: They must be doing good business because of it.

DG: I think they are. I wouldn’t want to fix this problem, it would put them out of work.

HM: Is this happening to other MPs or is it just the way you sit?

DG: I think MPs have been very shy to talk about it because it's such an absurd topic but it certainly happens to MPs from all parties because when I brought it up, I get an awful lot of support on the issue from across the aisle and from my own side. One day a member of the Conservatives called me over after I’d brought it up, to demonstrate that he had just torn his pants this week, to the knee. So these things are happening all the time. It's a nuisance.

HM: So in some cases, it sounds like you know we're exposing some thigh? Some underwear mayb?

DG: That may well be the case. I haven’t checked too closely to make sure. But we’re certainly tearing some pockets.

CP: What's the worst case you have heard about?

DG: One person related to me, and I won’t name him, it wasn't a Liberal, that's his pocket tore most of the way down to his ankle. Like, the whole right side of his pants was ripped open.

HM: I guess it depends on the quality of the suit and how much you love it too?

DG: Well that's it. If you tear your pants, you're going to be out a suit. It actually becomes a fairly expensive venture for members that have this. You know, but there's a lot more serious issues in the world, and my speech covered a wide variety of topics. This is a line item in it.

HM: Do you guys keep a stash of suits in your office just in case?

DG: That would be sensible wouldn't it. No I change at my apartment when I come in and hope that I go home with an intact suit.

HM: Why haven't we heard about this before do you think?

DG: Because it's not a kind of topic that people want to talk about in public.

HM: Why are you talking about it?

DG: Well what happened is, in the House of Commons we have a rule which requires us to discuss the way the House works once every Parliament within a certain number of days from the last election. And so I made a long speech where I discussed a wide range of issues and structure of debate, structure of prime members business, and as an aside, I said I would also like to have chairs that don't our pockets which happened to me again last night. Because the night before, I when I was writing my speech, I tore my pockets.

HM: Do you think this is the kind of issue that all parties might be able to agree on?

DG: I really don't know. Here's the issue. You can't change things in the House of Commons because it's tradition, so pointed chairs are traditional. So to change them you have to change a whole structure of the House of Commons. And instead of being an issue of making a soft corner versus a hard one, it becomes a heritage issue, it becomes a complicated file. So I don't think it will get solved, quite frankly. But I’m a guy that comes from software. So when I see a bug, I report the bug.

HM: So no one's willing to like sand down the area in question.

DG: Well if you sound down, you no longer have traditional chairs.

HM: So what about duct tape?

DG: Ooh. I suppose I can try that and see how it goes over.

HM: There you go. So is there anything else about the House that you would like to change? Otherwise it's good?

DG: There's a lot more things that are a lot more important in a lot words and then fixing the seats. But I see an opportunity in changing the seats because we're moving to West block, another building soon because we're going to close down Centre block in Parliament for a very long period of time for renovations. So we're going to move anyway. If we’re going to do things like put an electronic voting sort of…voting system is more efficient, change the structure of the chairs. Anything like that, that would be the time to do it. And that's why I brought it up at the moment that I did.

HM: Is it true that you also have a problem with clocks?

DG: Well the clocks in the House are analog and they drift. And so when the television system records the House of Commons, it’s done on real time clocks, but when the written records are done, [unintelligible], it’s done on the analog clocks in the House. So a few weeks ago, they were two minutes plus out of sync. So I rose on the point of order and I asked the Chair to please take care of synchronizing the clocks and the Chair wasn't entirely sure how to react. But the next morning I came in, there's ladders all over the House of Commons and the clocks are being taken down to be corrected.

HM: It's like you're the efficiency expert in the house.

DG: Well I'm a computer guy. I want things that work.

HM: All right. Well Mr. Graham, thank you very much.

DG: Thank you.

HM: Okay bye.

JD: David Graham is a Liberal MP for the Laurentides-Labelle riding in Quebec and a computer guy. He spoke to us from Quebec.

[Music]

Part 2: Trump nuclear tweet, Reading: The Gift of the Magi

HM: Hello again and welcome back. I’m Helen Mann

JD: And I’m Jeff Douglas. This is As It Happens the Thursday edition, Part Two.

[Music: Theme]

JD: Coming up:

HM: We've got a long paper trail all the way back to 1968.
And tonight we'll go into the As It Happens archives and emerge with reams of stories on the subject of paper.

JD: It is called As it Happened: The Archive Edition. It is a staple of our seasonal programming. And actually speaking of staples, tonight's “Paper Episode” will cover messages lost and found, and British toilet paper. And we will cover paper covering rock get a winner-take-all game of Rock Paper Scissors.

HM: That's half an hour from now. Stay tuned.

[Music]

Trump Nuke Tweet

Guest: Kelsey Davenport

JD: Yes it was only a tweet, but because it came from president-elect Donald Trump, it is being treated like a bombshell. The tweet reads “The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes.”
Kelsey Davenport is the director for non-proliferation policy with the Arms Control Association. We reached her in Washington D.C.

HM: Ms. Davenport, did Mr. Trump's tweet about nuclear expansion alarm you?

KD: Mr. Trump's tweet was dangerous and destabilizing. You know nuclear weapons are not something that you should change policy on in a single tweet. You know his call to expand and strengthen the U.S. nuclear capability also flies in the face of decades of U.S. policy that's called for reducing the number of nuclear weapons and their role in security policy. So any move to strengthen and expand the U.S. nuclear arsenal is moving in the wrong direction.

HM: So what do you suspect prompted him to issue this tweet?

KD: Well it's difficult to say what might have been behind Trump's decision to tweet about nuclear weapons at this time. You know Russia has been making some dangerous and destabilizing moves in regards to its own nuclear arsenal. Putin himself has called for expanding the size and role of Russia's nuclear deterrent. But Trump has also met recently with U.S. military leaders and they have a stake in upgrading the current U.S. nuclear arsenal, so he could be feeding off of that interest in upgrading current U.S. capabilities as well.

HM: So I mean Mr. Putin actually has made those comments very recently, in fact he just made them. Is it mere coincidence do you think that they're both doing this at the same time?

KD: Well Putin's announcement certainly is not surprising. Russia over the past several months has taken steps that indicate that it's increasing its reliance on nuclear weapons for security. Putin in a sense has been flexing his nuclear muscles. But it's certainly troubling in that both countries could begin an escalatory spiral that could ultimately provoke a new nuclear arms race. Trump should be looking for opportunities to reach out to Russia to try and calm tensions you know, not provoke further aggression on both sides.

HM: So you're saying on the one hand it could be muscle flexing, but on the other hand this could also be something that could initiate an expansion of the arms race. Is that right?

KD: Yes it certainly could be both. And it's too soon to say right now if Trump is merely responding to Russia, if he feels like he's been provoked. Or if this is actually a new U.S. policy I think that would have dangerous ripple effects throughout the world. The U.S. has typically lead on disarmament efforts and this would be a slide backwards.

HM: What kind of message might this send then to China or North Korea?

KD: Well in the case of China, you know Beijing has been expanding its nuclear arsenal as well. And I think that any move by the United States to be more aggressive in this area could provoke China into continuing to expand its arsenal and could increase its own nuclear capabilities. Essentially Trump could start a nuclear arms race that affects not only Russia but China as well. And it's critical that he clarify what he meant in that tweet and listen to military advisers and leaders from past Democratic and Republican administrations who have prioritized the need to disarm and to reduce our nuclear arsenal not expand it.

HM: Some people are comparing Mr. Trump's apparent strategy on things like this to two former U.S. President Richard Nixon and the Madman theory he espoused that if your enemies or even just other world powers don't know what to expect, it throws them off their game and gives you more authority. Is that something you think that Mr. Trump could possibly be subscribing to here?

KD: Well I don't think that unpredictability and nuclear weapons should ever go hand in hand. If you know he is trying to follow in the footsteps of Nixon, I think Trump will be wise to reverse course. You know in many ways, the Madman theory you know, didn't work for Nixon, and I don't think it will work for Trump either.

HM: There is the issue of the Nuclear Non-proliferation Treaty which are the terms of which stand I think till 2021.Is there anything preventing Mr. Trump from defying that?

KD: Well one of the terms of the treaty is that the countries that were recognized as possessing nuclear weapons including the United States you know take steps to you know, engage in negotiations to draw down their arsenals and eventually eliminate them. If Trump decides to create new nuclear warheads, I think a number of countries would view that as a violation of the Nuclear Non-proliferation Treaty and it will certainly feed into the frustration that a great number of states have expressed over the slow pace of disarmament over the past four years.

HM: Ms. Davenport thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

KD: Thank you for having me.

HM: Okay goodbye.

KD: Bye.

JD: Kelsey Davenport is the director for non-proliferation policy with the Arms Control Association. We reached her in Washington D.C.

[Music]

Reading: The Gift of the Magi

JD: This year will be different. We said we're going to start shopping in November we said. But somehow here we are at the gas station buying handfuls of pine-scented air fresheners and lottery tickets and Tim Horton's gift certificates just praying that we're going to check everyone off the list. But listen, before we go full Scrooge and just give up, remember that there is still time, there's three more sleeps in fact. And when we're stuck in the checkout line listening to Bruce Springsteen spirited version of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” for the umpteenth freakin’ time. Just think of this story which reminds us that the greatest gifts cannot be bought. Written in 1995 by O. Henry.
Here is former As It Happens host Al Maitland, ‘Fireside Al,’ reading “Gift of the Magi.”

SOUNDCLIP

One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one's cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty-seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas.
There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it. Which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
While the mistress of the home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second, take a look at the home. A furnished flat at eight dollars per week. It did not exactly beggar description, but it certainly had that word on the lookout for the mendicancy squad.
In the vestibule below was a letter-box into which no letter would go, and an electric button from which no mortal finger could coax a ring. Also appertaining thereunto was a card bearing the name "Mr. James Dillingham Young."
The "Dillingham" had been flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity when its possessor was being paid $30 per week. Now, when the income was shrunk to $20, though, they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and unassuming D. But whenever Mr. James Dillingham Young came home and reached his flat above he was called "Jim" and greatly hugged by Mrs. James Dillingham Young, already introduced to you as Della. Which is all very good.
Della finished her cry and attended to her cheeks with the powder rag. She stood by the window and looked out dully at a gray cat walking a gray fence in a gray backyard. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only $1.87 with which to buy Jim a present. She had been saving every penny she could for months, with this result. Twenty dollars a week doesn't go far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated. They always are. Only $1.87 to buy a present for Jim. Her Jim. Many a happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him. Something fine and rare and sterling– something just a little bit near to being worthy of the honor of being owned by Jim.
There was a pier-glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen a pier-glass in an $8 flat. A very thin and very agile person may, by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence of longitudinal strips, obtain a fairly accurate conception of his looks. Della, being slender, had mastered the art.
Suddenly she whirled from the window and stood before the glass. Her eyes were shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its color within twenty seconds. Rapidly she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its full length.
Now, there were two possessions of the James Dillingham Youngs in which they both took a mighty pride. One was Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's. The other was Della's hair. Had the queen of Sheba lived in the flat across the airshaft, Della would have let her hair hang out the window someday to dry just to depreciate Her Majesty's jewels and gifts. Had King Solomon been the janitor, with all his treasures piled up in the basement, Jim would have pulled out his watch every time he passed, just to see him pluck at his beard from envy.
So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. It reached below her knee and made itself almost a garment for her. And then she did it up again nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and stood still while a tear or two splashed on the worn red carpet.
On went her old brown jacket; on went her old brown hat. With a whirl of skirts and with the brilliant sparkle still in her eyes, she fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street. [lb[ Where she stopped the sign read: "Mme. Sofronie. Hair Goods of All Kinds." One flight up Della ran, and collected herself, panting. Madame, large, too white, chilly, hardly looked the "Sofronie."
"Will you buy my hair?" asked Della.
"I buy hair," said Madame. "Take yer hat off and let's have a sight at the looks of it."
Down rippled the brown cascade.
"Twenty dollars," said Madame, lifting the mass with a practised hand.
"Give it to me quick," said Della.
Oh, and the next two hours tripped by on rosy wings. Forget the hashed metaphor. She was ransacking the stores for Jim's present.
She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the stores, and she had turned all of them inside out. It was a platinum fob chain simple and chaste in design, properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation– as all good things should do. It was even worthy of The Watch. As soon as she saw it she knew that it must be Jim's. It was like him. Quietness and value– the description applied to both. Twenty-one dollars they took from her for it, and she hurried home with the 87 cents. With that chain on his watch Jim might be properly anxious about the time in any company. Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it on the sly on account of the old leather strap that he used in place of a chain.
When Della reached home her intoxication gave way a little to prudence and reason. She got out her curling irons and lighted the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made by generosity added to love. Which is always a tremendous task, dear friends– a mammoth task.
Within forty minutes her head was covered with tiny, close-lying curls that made her look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her reflection in the mirror long, carefully, and critically.
"If Jim doesn't kill me," she said to herself, "before he takes a second look at me, he'll say I look like a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do– oh! what could I do with a dollar and eighty- seven cents?"
At 7 o'clock the coffee was made and the frying-pan was on the back of the stove hot and ready to cook the chops.
Jim was never late. Della doubled the fob chain in her hand and sat on the corner of the table near the door that he always entered. Then she heard his step on the stair away down on the first flight, and she turned white for just a moment. She had a habit for saying little silent prayer about the simplest everyday things, and now she whispered: "Please God, make him think I am still pretty."
The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it. He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow, he was only twenty-two– and to be burdened with a family! He needed a new overcoat and he was without gloves.
Jim stopped inside the door, as immovable as a setter at the scent of quail. His eyes were fixed upon Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not read, and it terrified her. It was not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any of the sentiments that she had been prepared for. He simply stared at her fixedly with that peculiar expression on his face.
Della wriggled off the table and went for him.
"Jim, darling," she cried, "don't look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold because I couldn't have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. It'll grow out again– you won't mind, will you? I just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast. Say `Merry Christmas!' Jim, and let's be happy. You don't know what a nice – what a beautiful, nice gift I've got for you."
"You've cut off your hair?" asked Jim, laboriously, as if he had not arrived at that patent fact yet even after the hardest mental labor.
"Cut it off and sold it," said Della. "Don't you like me just as well, anyhow? I'm me without my hair, ain't I?"
Jim looked about the room curiously.
"You say your hair is gone?" he said, with an air almost of idiocy.
"You needn't look for it," said Della. "It's sold, I tell you– sold and gone, too. It's Christmas Eve, boy. Be good to me, for it went for you. Maybe the hairs of my head were numbered," she went on with sudden serious sweetness, "but nobody could ever count my love for you. Shall I put the chops on, Jim?"
Out of his trance Jim seemed quickly to wake. He enfolded his Della. For ten seconds let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential object in the other direction. Eight dollars a week or a million a year – what is the difference? A mathematician or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. This dark assertion will be illuminated later on.
Jim drew a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon the table.
"Don't make any mistake, Dell," he said, "about me. I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut or a shave or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less. But if you'll unwrap that package you may see why you had me going a while at first."
White fingers and nimble tore at the string and paper. And then an ecstatic scream of joy; and then, alas! A quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails, necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of the lord of the flat.
For there lay The Combs– the set of combs, side and back, that Della had worshipped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell, with jewelled rims– just the shade to wear in the beautiful vanished hair. They were expensive combs, she knew, and her heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the least hope of possession. And now, they were hers, but the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone.
But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length she was able to look up with dim eyes and a smile and say: "My hair grows so fast, Jim!"
And them Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried, "Oh, oh!"
Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present. She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm. The dull precious metal seemed to flash with a reflection of her bright and ardent spirit.
"Isn't it a dandy, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it."
Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of his head and smiled.
"Dell," said he, "let's put our Christmas presents away and keep 'em a while. They're too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on."
The magi, as you know, were wise men– wonderfully wise men– who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi.

JD: ‘Fireside Al’ Maitland reading "The Gift of the Magi." That story was written by O. Henry in 1905 and you can hear that any time on As It Happens Web site cbc.ca/aih.

Part 3: As it Happened: The Paper Episode

JD: During this holiday season, we are bringing you some of the very best stories that we have ever ever aired on this program. We're going to be digging into the As It Happens archives to bring you some blasts from our past through encore presentations of As It Happened: The Archive Edition. And now here is tonight's Encore presentation of As It Happened.

[Music]

JD: Hey there I'm Jeff Douglas, and this is As It Happened: The Archive Edition. As It Happens has been on the air since 1968, and this show brings you some of the very best stories from our 48 years of programming. This week's theme: paper. We're going to speak with a woman who found a secret note stitched into the pleats of a Scottish kilt dating back to World War One.

SOUNDCLIP

HELEN PAUL: It's incredible that this lady had written this decades previously and the note had survived.

HM: We'll hear from an employee of British tissues about why that company decided to stop manufacturing hard toilet paper in just normal factory.

SOUNDCLIP

JULIA DAVIS: It’s used for just normal bodily functions if you excuse the expression.

JD: The music is big and we will interview the conductor of an orchestra performing the 1812 Overture using the sound of popping paper bags instead of cannons.

SOUNDCLIP

TIMOTHY RAINEY: With all the cuts in the Arts Council and the military over here, I think this is the way forward.

HM: As It Happened: The Archive Edition, or radio that ends with a bag not a whimper.

Message in a bottle

JD: In 1985 on Vancouver Island, a little boy had a message to share. His name was Doug. Doug grabbed a piece of paper. He scribbled out his note. He stuffed it into a bottle, and then he chucked it into the nearest body of water. Twenty five years later, his message was finally delivered. Irene Soares lives in the town of Duncan on Vancouver Island. She found the bottle when she spoke with Carol back in April of 2010.

SOUNDCLIP

CAROL OFF: Irene, where did you find this message in a bottle?

IRENE SOARES: In Somenos Lake in Duncan here, Somenos Creek ends up flowing out of it into Cowichan Bay. My husband and I took our canoe for a little paddle around in the lake, and I saw the bottle bobbing around there and I thought oh. You know, we went down the creek a little ways, turned around and came back it was pretty choked up with willows and things so we couldn't get very far. So on our way back I picked up the bottle, thinking it was you ten cents recyclable and to my surprise, oh my gosh there’s a piece of paper in it. So I couldn't open at the time. It was pretty slimy with algae and stuff but I got home and used a pair of channel locks and gently opened it and lo and behold there’s Doug's note.

CO: So what did the piece of paper say? It says, “I may not know you. You may not know me. But if you receive this note, give Doug a call.” And the phone number and then it says “Thank you whoever you are.” So I said I will.

CO: So you dialed the number then did you? And who did you talk to?

IS: His dad.

CO: Oh who's dad.

IS: Doug’s dad.

CO: So and what did the dad say when you asked him about the note?

IS: Well he didn't have really much idea what I was talking about. And then I explained a little bit further and all this and then we had a good giggle about you know kind of silliness that kids will do that we've all done, and so I must have sounded legitimate. And so he gave me Doug's number and I phoned Doug.

CO: All right, well you know, we have Doug on the line. Hello Doug.

DOUG FANTILLO : Hi there, how are you?

CO: I’m OK. What went through your mind when you got that call from Irene?

DF: It took me a bit to remember because it was 25 years ago that I wrote this note. And I also had a big bottle of gin. Gee, who could remember anything? [Sound: laughter]. No I was too young to drink then. But um, I thought it was neat that actually one of the messages that I actually sent came back and I got a response because I've done it before into the ocean and I was hoping this one to make it to the ocean. I think that it would only make us a little ways.

CO: Do you remember writing the note?

DF: Yes I do actually. I remember because I… there's a few things on the nose that I remember. One’s the whiteout. I whited out one little piece and fixed it up ,and I remember asking, trying to get somebody to tell me how to spell receive and I just did my best job at it. And I spelt it wrong and I didn't that one out. But yes I do remember typing it up on my father's old typewriter.

CO: Where did you think that message would go when you sent it off in the gin bottle?

DF: China you know maybe? I was open it was go a long ways. I thought it would go through the lake, into the ocean, then far far away.

CO: And how far did it get?

DF: About 200 feet I think. 25 years, you know, not very darn far.

CO: What was it like when you saw it? When you saw that little boy writing something so long ago?

DF: It takes you way back.

CO: So do you think this is a friendship blooming here?

IS: Well if it comes to my truck, I won't turn him down for food.

CO: Well Doug and Irene, it's a great story and thanks for talking to us.

IS: Well you're very welcome.

DF: Thank you very much.

CO: Bye bye.

IS: Take care, Doug.

DF: Bye.

JD: From April of 2010 that was Carol Off in conversation with Irene Soares and Doug Fantillo, both of whom live in Duncan, British Columbia.
[Music]
One man's trash is another man's treasure. Still ahead on As It Happened: The Paper Episode we will hear from the president and founder of the British Ephemera Society, a group that collects and conserves bits of paper that would otherwise be thrown away. That's coming up later on As it Happened: The Archive Edition

Kilt note

JD: Usually people want to know what is worn under the kilt. But in the case of one kilt in particular, the mystery lies in what is written under it. In 2014, a note stitched inside the pleats of a British army kilt from World War One raised a lot of questions. The message appears to have been written by a young woman who clearly wore her heart on her sleeve… and on other people's traditional knee length woollen garments. The kilt has been passed down through generations of Helen Paul's family. In July of 2014, Ms. Paul spoke with As It Happens guest host Helen Mann, from Southampton England.

SOUNDCLIP

HELEN MANN: Dr. Paul, what does this note found inside the kilt actually say?

HELEN PAUL: It says, “I hope your kilt will fit you well and in it you will look swell. If married, never mind if single, drop a line. Wish you bags of luck and a speedy return back to Blighty. And it’s by Helen Govan. 49 Ardgowan Street, Glasgow, Scotland.”

HM: What did you think when you first read it?

HP: I thought it was amazing. I noticed that she had the same name that we do, which is even stranger and I was just it was incredible that this lady had written this decades previously and the note had survived.

HM: Why did it take so long to actually find the note?

HP: This was an Army surplus kilt that was not a very patterned one. Not tartan. It's just a very plain pinky brown color and it was stitched up for transit. That means it had extra packing stitches on it and it had never been undone and actually worn. So because it hadn't been worn, the note had just been stuffed into the pleats and just lodged there, had never fallen out.

HM: What was it that I guess inspired you to pull out these packing stitches?

HP: Well, because the kilt had been given to my father by his relatives. My great-great uncle, apparently he bought it from a soldier and they just wanted to see if the kilt would fit my father because he was a bagpiper, whether he would be able to fit into it.

HM: And it fell out?

HP: It just fell out.

HM: What have you been able to ascertain about the identity of this seamstress Helen Govan?

HP: Well the Scottish government have taken an interest in her, looking for relatives for a memorial service, so they actually set their people on it and discovered that she was born just more or less near where she was living on Ardgowan street. She was single so her whole life, and she died in the sixties. So they know where she was born, who her parents were, and they've put out a call for relatives. If anyone's interested it's the Daily Record which is a Scottish paper so they should be able to see it online.

HM: It's interesting. So you found out she never married. So her efforts to find a husband, at least in this way didn't work out?

HP: No it didn't work. But I suppose when you think how many people died in the war and then in the flu epidemic just after the war, you could see that there would be a smaller pool to fish in.

HM: What have you done with the kilt itself?

HP: The kilt is sitting in my office right now and with the note with it. So it's just sitting here. I'd like to maybe show it to the public lend it to an exhibition or something like that.

HM: I hear it's very well-preserved. It is in beautiful condition because it was just kept all packed up, put in a cupboard somewhere and they never wore it out. It was never used.

HM: It's such a fascinating story. It's a little moment in history. Thank you for sharing it with us.

HP: Thank you very much.

HM: Bye bye.

JD: That was As It Happens guest host Helen Mann speaking with Helen Paul in July of 2014. Ms. Paul was in Southampton England. You can find pictures of the kilt and the note found inside on our website cbc.ca/aih.

[Music]

Jury Cookbook

JD: It was a long trial in Vero Beach Florida. Day after day, week after week testimony dragged on. It was a tedious, complicated case about securities fraud. And so to fight the boredom, the jurors got together and wrote a cookbook. Chuck Porter was a member of that jury. He spoke with former As It Happens host Michael Enright In October of 1989.

SOUNDCLIP

MICHAEL ENRIGHT: Hi Mr. Porter. All right. All right you're in the jury room day after day. How did the idea come about to write a cookbook?

CHUCK PORTER: Well you have to go in and out of the courtroom so often, and really and truly, how many times can you talk about your kids, your wife, your husband and relatives, because you're not allowed to talk about the case. Absolutely cannot talk about the case.

ME: OK.

CP: What we started out doing is, what did you have for supper? And somebody said, well I had a hamburger or whatever. And he said, well what's your favorite meal? And it always sort of just snowballed from there.

ME: Was this a jury of 12 men and women?

CP: No this was eight, six jurors and two alternates. And I was one of the alternates.

ME: How long did the trial go on?

CP: About four and a half weeks… four and a half weeks.

ME: And it was a fraud case civil suit, was it?

CP: Yes civil suit.

ME: Well so but the cookbook part of it I guess was interesting…

CP: Yes. Oh it is absolutely hilarious. The name of the cookbook is “Courtroom Cooks and Crooks: We steal recipes.”

ME: How did you decide about the recipes? I mean you're after all a jury did you vote on the recipes or was there a hung jury in this?

CP: Well I don't think we had any hung jury here because every recipe that was brought in or even thought of was delicious. I've already tried several of them.

ME: Give me give me a recipe. What kind of things did you come up with?

CP: One that I just tried the other night. It was the sweet and sour cabbage and all it is is chopped cabbage. You go ahead and steam it or fry it or whatever you want to do, get it nice and tender, and put vinegar and brown sugar in it.

ME: Give me another one.

CP: Another recipe? Now the one I made up is sausage with crescent rolls. I put a pound of sausage a cup of breadcrumbs about a half a cup of onions chopped fine. Mix that up real well, take the crescent rolls and put a spoonful of that and then roll up very nice and make it real pretty and brush them with egg on top and bake them for about 350 for about 20, 30 minutes.

ME: They're not the most complicated recipes in the world. I mean it's not Julia Child or anything.

CP: Spinach casserole you know. Yeah. Pineapple soufflé. Something that you didn't have before you went into the jury room.

ME: What kind of food did they give you or the jury?

CP: None.

ME: Really?

CP: For lunch, we did not have to stay in the jury room you know for overnight or anything like that.

ME: Right.

CP: And so we left and we never talked about it. In fact it was quite really stressful, extremely stressful. And I think this cookbook did us a world of good.

ME: Well we'll let you go. I'm going to try that sausage in the crescent roll.

CP: You'll love it.

ME: Thanks Mr. Porter.

CP: Ok.

ME: goodnight.

CP: Goodnight now.

JD: That was former As It Happens host Michael Enright in conversation with former juror Chuck Porter in 1989. Mr. Porter was in Vero Beach Florida.

[Music]

Dateline Tokyo hamburger

JD: Dateline, Tokyo. In Japan, there is an ancient feminine ideal known as Ochobo. It means that women, to be considered attractive, should have a small and modest mouth. As a result, if you're in Japan, you will often see women cover their mouths when they laugh or when they're eating.
But there are times when that ideal is too difficult to meet. If you can imagine that. Like for example when you're stuffing your face with a huge hamburger. This was apparently a fast food chain in Tokyo called Freshness Burger, where almost no woman ever ordered the restaurant's extra large sandwich. So they came up with a novel idea called the Liberation Wrapper. It is a paper wrap for the hamburger that extends up and covers the mouth of whoever is eating behind it. On the outward side of the paper is the image of a woman's mouth in the idealized Ochobo form. The chain reported the sales of the hamburger went up more than 200 percent in the month following the introduction of the Liberation Wrapper and that women accounted for almost all the sales increase.

[Music]

Ephemera Society

JD: It may be junk to you, but to the Ephemera Society, that junk is history. Scraps of paper, old tickets, bills, note cards. What would now be the contents of your recycling bin. They are pure gold to this group. Maurice Richards is the founder and the president of the Ephemera Society. He spoke with As It Happens guest host Dick Beddoes in 1977.

SOUNDCLIP

DICK BEDDOES: Mr. Richards, what exactly is the idea, and what is the Ephemera Society?

MAURICE RICHARDS: Well the Ephemeral Society collects and conserves items that would normally be thrown away, a throw away as you could call them. Printed and handwritten paper items which were mostly produced just for the day. Just to pick an example, we have somebody who is doing research into the history of [Unintelligible] margarine, you may call it, fats, and butter and lard, and so forth. He collects anything to do with those subjects either of today or yesterday. But more particularly of yesterday. We have somebody else who collects insurance policies and another who collects admission tickets and so it goes on.

DB: Insurance policies?

MR: That's right.

DB: What, that have expired? They're no longer useful?

MR: Oh yeah. These bills were to go right back to the beginning of history. Insurance as one of his one of the oldest professions. They make very interesting reading. The facts and figures and all the fine print that they had then about the what you could and couldn't do if you were insured.

DB: You would say the second oldest profession.

MR: That's right.

DB: Now just, just let’s rundown a list of things people might collect. Parking tickets. You have people collecting parking tickets.

MR: They do that. Yeah. They do that and indeed they could collect material from today. That's sort of today's material. The collector, he’s a rescue squad. He goes around saving material which would otherwise simply not get saved at all. Because this material is so common today, we are inclined to overlook it and to discard it. But of course the very fact that it's all thrown away means that it is tomorrow's rarity.

DB: Pack rats international.

MR: That’s right. A great syndicate.

DB: Thank you Mr. Richards. Charming to talk to you.

MR: Bye.

JD: From London, the founder and president of the ephemeral society, Maurice Richards speaking with As It Happens guest host Dick Beddoes in 1977.

[Music]

Rock Paper Scissors runners

Normally the winners of high school cross-country running competitions are decided based on, you know, who crosses the finish line first. But in 2010, two competitors from Oakville, Ontario found a different way to declare a winner. Rock Paper Scissors Carol spoke with runners Braden Culver and David Watson in October of 2010.

SOUNDCLIP

CAROL OFF: Braden, I'm going to start with you, if you can begin the story. You were taking part in the local Golden Horseshoe athletic conference championships. And tell us what happened to before the end of your cross-country race.

BRADEN CULVER: Oh well as we were going through the race, we decided that, well we had a pretty good lead, so we decided that it was really… we're really good friends and good teammates.

CO: This is you and David.

BC: Yeah yeah. And we decided to, instead of beating each other in the race, we decided to make it kind of fair, like a Rock Paper Scissors. And so that’s what we decided to do at the end there.

CO: Now what do you mean. What did you do at the end?

BC: Well we were running. And for the last stretch, right about a metre before the finish line we stopped and turned to each other and did Rock Paper Scissors a couple of times to see who won, and I won that. And David tried to beat me but it didn't work.

CO: For anyone who doesn't know what rock paper scissors is, it's a game of hands. So rock paper scissors you do it, and see who who trumps the other one. So we have David on the line as well. Hi David.

DAVID WATSON: Hi.

CO: Now what did you… were you disappointed to lose rock paper scissors?

DW: Yeah, I didn't really want to lose Rock Paper Scissors, so I dove over the line hand first, but through exhaustion over the run, I forgot that the only thing that mattered was the chip on my ankle and it wasn't in my hand. So Braden's kick forward when he saw me dive actually won him the race by four milliseconds.

CO: So you lost Rock Paper Scissors but you figured you’d win the race.

DW: I wanted to sort of cheat a little but I could just never win as was proved by Braden.

CO: What did how did the crowd react?

DW: Well I felt I guess when we stopped to do Rock Paper Scissors, most people were, I guess shocked, and I heard some people laughing in the back. So I guess some of them thought it was pretty funny.

CO: Didn't you want to win the race?

DW: Oh it didn't really matter to us because like I had won it the year before and I kind of figured it was going to win it anyway. We didn't really want to beat each other or lose to each other so.

CO: Oh ‘cause you’re friends.

DW: Yeah.

BC: Yeah.

CO: Anyway you guys are great. Good to talk to you.

DW: Thanks.

BC: Thank you.

CO: Bye bye.

JD: From 2010. That was As It Happens host Carol Off in conversation with runners Braden Culver and David Watson both of whom lived in Oakville, Ontario.

[Music]

Hard Toilet Paper

It is a country known for stiff upper lips and at one time, for its stiff toilet paper. It was not until 1989 that the English company that made hard toilet paper wrapped up its last roll. The tissue was sold under the brand name Bronco but it was made by the company British Tissues. Former As It Happens host Michael Enright spoke with British tissues spokesperson Julia Davis in October of 1989. She was in Watford, England.

SOUNDCLIP

ME: Ms. Davis, for those of us, and there must be hundreds of millions of us who don't know the term. Can you define hard toilet paper?

DAVIS: Right, OK. Hard toilet paper is effectively made of superfine manila tissue. It's a bit like tracing paper. So I guess that's probably the best likeness that I can give you. And it's on rolls which are perforated just like soft stuff. And it was also available in individual sheets at one time.

ME: And it is what it says. It's harder than the soft stuff?

DAVIS: That’s right. Yeah I mean in those days it wasn't possible to actually make tissue that was soft like it is nowadays. This product dates back a century ago. And in those days, it was actually supposed to be for curling ladies’ hair.

ME: It was used for curling lady's hair?

ME: That was what they used to say. I mean in actual fact it was used for just normal bodily functions of you excuse the expression, but because people weren’t at ease with that type of thing in those days, particularly in the Victorian times.

ME: Of course. Well people didn't go to the bathroom in Victorian times did they?

DAVIS: Indeed not. Or that’s what I’m led to believe.

ME: Exactly. How did how did British tissues come up with the name Bronco?

DAVIS: Right, well British Tissues in fact did not come up with the name. It was actually a company called the British Patent Perforated Paper Company, would you believe?

ME: Would you just say that again please?

DAVIS: British Patent Perforated Paper Company. It really slips off the tongue. They actually devised the product. And originally it was called British Number One. And then just after the turn of the century, they actually transformed the name to Broncos. Some people say that that's because it was a combination of the ‘br’ from British and the ‘co’ for the company. And others say that it's actually because that is the sound that’s made when you detach the role of hard toilet tissue sharply from the roll.

ME: A kind of bronco.

DAVIS: Yeah that's right yes.

ME: And it was British Tissue Number One, was it?

DAVIS: It was originally British Number One.

ME: There's a joke that I won't go into but–

DAVIS: I can well imagine what you were going to say.

ME: Why did it run out of favor as it were?

DAVIS: Well obviously soft tissue became available. I believe it was imported originally from the States back in around the 1960s in a big way. And when people realized that there was a more comfortable option they naturally tended to switch.

ME: Well thank you for talking to us. It's the end of another British tradition I guess. Thank you Ms. Davis.

DAVIS: All right, you’re very welcome.

ME: Goodnight.

JD: From 1989, that was former As It Happens host Michael Enright speaking with Julia Davis from the company British Tissues. She was in Watford, England which is approximately 70 kilometers from Redding, or six hundred ninety three thousand toilet paper rolls, laid end to end.

[Music]

Paper Bag overture

When Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture debuted in Moscow in 1882, it was just a titch elaborate. Tchaikovsky composed the piece to celebrate his country's victory over Napoleon.And at its climax, the overture includes a full military band, cathedral bells, percussion, and cannon fire. From cannons. All of those elements, as you might imagine, can make the piece a bit expensive to perform, and as arts funding has dwindled, orchestras have had to get creative in how they perform the 1812. In 1997, conductor Timothy Reynish led the Old Chestnut Orchestra in Manchester England and replacing the expensive sound of cannons, was the sound of the audience popping thousands of brown paper bags. Mr. Reynish explained the performance to former As It Happens host Mary Lou Finlay.

SOUNDCLIP

MARY FINLAY: Mr. Rainish, what gave you the idea of using paper bags instead of cannons?

TIMOTHY REYNISH: Well, part of it was just getting the audience involved. There's nothing more exciting than two thousand, four hundred people waiting to bang the paper bags right at the right moment of 1812 at the climax.

MF: How do you know? Have you done it before?

TR: I've done it once before with a small audience. Yeah.

MF: Yeah all right. How does it work?

TR: Well, you have a couple of conductors. You divide the audience up into groups and you have to rehearse with them clapping hands. Then they get cued in just like the cannons do for real. And it’s cheaper than cannons, and with all the cuts in the Arts Council and the military over here, I think this is the way forward.

MF: Can you just give me a brief idea of the shpiel I’d get if I was if I were in your quarter of the audience?

TR: Yeah we would be rehearsing [Sound: Reynish sings final notes] and I would say OK. One of the problems is blowing up the paper bags at the right moment and then sealing it with your fist because that's quite tricky.

MF: Yes.

TR: So you have to rehearse that?

MF: OK so while you're doing you're humming, I'm blowing up this paper bag.

TR: That's right.

MF: OK and where do we go bang?

TR: I'll give you a cue. [Sound: sings a few notes] One, two. Like that.

MF: Bang.

MF: And do you think everybody's bag will go off at the right time?

TR: Oh yes yes. I mean the English are quite musical. They’re not as musical as the Canadians but they're quite sensitive and it's a family occasion. We've got the enormous number of people coming to it's sold out. It’s got marvellous acoustics of paper bags.

MF: I'm sure that's why it was built. It was probably built with paper bags in mind, don't you think?

ME: I expect so. The English are quirky enough.

MF: Well sounds like a wonderful night. You just be sure to tell us how it comes off.

TR: OK. All right. Thanks a lot.

MF: All right. Bye.

JD: From 1997, that was former As It Happens host Mary Lou Finlay speaking with conductor Timothy Reynish. He was in Manchester.
[Music]
That is it for this encore presentation of As It Happened: The Archive Edition. You can also find all the episodes on our website cbc.ca/aih. As It Happened under the features tab. Listen again or share them. Our thanks to Keith Hart and the team at CBC Radio Archives. To our writer, Chris Howden, for help with the words. And of course, to our technician, Reynold Gonsalves. I'm Jeff Douglas, have a good night.

Provide Transcript Feedback

CBC would like to acknowledge the support of the Broadcasting Accessibility Fund.

Dec 22, 2016 episode transcript

Social Sharing

More from this episode