Good gig. French scientists will give you $23,000 to lie in bed in "outer space" for 60 days

You hit your snooze button like a lab rat craving food pellets. It's okay, you're not alone, lab rat. But if you're waking moments are measured out in desperate 9 minute grace periods of snooze button salvation, we may have found your calling. French space scientists want to finance your sloth lust. What's in it for you other than plenty of down time? About 23 large and the prestige of moving humankind closer to more effective space travel.

At the Institute for Space Medicine and Physiology (Medes) near Toulouse you can make a pretty decent buck without ever moving a muscle, or at least very few muscles at once. But you've gotta have the right stuff. If you're a fit, non-smoking man between the ages of 24 and 45 with no allergies, you qualify for the task of extreme lounging. That task will take you 2 full months by the way. Successful candidates will undergo a volley of physiological testing before spending an entire 60 days reclining in bed. Dr. Arnaud Beck who is leading the study is clear, candidates will stay horizontal. The chosen few (24 idle workers in all) "must remain in bed, the head slightly inclined downwards at less than six degrees." Hope they like a thin pillow.

"The idea of this study is to reproduce the weightlessness of the International Space Station (ISS)," says Beck, who was sure to offer a few caveats to anyone eager to jump at a chance of drawing a wage while lying down. Most notably, they'll have to ignore the dictum that you should never sh*t where you sleep. Subjects will be expected to eat, wash, perform all bodily functions and yes, sleep too, while lying on a mattress. "The rule is to keep at least one shoulder in contact with the bed or its frame". It's like a weird game of musical chairs, but with no music. Or chairs. And you never move.

If that doesn't dissuade you, this might: prolonged weightlessness does a body bad. Space travelers, aka astronauts, lose bone density and experience marked muscle loss in their lower body after prolonged periods in microgravity. It can make the simple task of just standing up a challenge. They're also prone to vertigo and drops in blood pressure. So, you're going to earn those space bucks. But that, of course, is the point of the experiment. Beck and his team want to examine harmful effects caused by long periods of weightlessness in hopes of reversing, or at least controlling them for future space exploration.

Thankfully, recuperation is also part of the deal. Beck won't ask you to hit the bricks when you haven't supported your weight in 60-days. He'll rebuild your muscle mass a little as you go through another barrage of tests, all in the name of space science. If the offer still sounds like your cup of lethargy, note it's for a limited time and you'll have to hang out in close quarters with French men of science (that last part may or may not sweeten the pot, depending on your proclivities). But more power to you if a 2 month space slumber party sounds fun.  

Those of us bound to more earthly pursuits will still have to get up, eventually.