Dog threads fit for catwalks offer Haute Couture for high-end puppers

Social media stars and Instagram influencers have become a staple in our feeds. We scroll past reams of pics that beg to be hearted while aiming to broadcast a style and status that the rest of us can aspire to. It'd probably be a little much if their outfits weren't so, well, likeable.

Still, should you want to refresh your feed note that, adorably, a new breed has emerged. And they're no less well-heeled — #petfluencers and celubuhounds like Menswear Dog have almost certainly been dressing better than you for awhile and Quebec's own Atchoum currently enjoys a bold bowtie game that remains unrivalled in feline circles (which I've included for the fashion forward cat tribe). But cats won't suffer an outfit lightly, no matter how expert the line or trendy the cut. Presumably, they think they're fabulous enough as they are. Dogs, on the other hand, seem all too eager to rock a well thought out #OOTD and dog owners with deep pockets and a respect for refinery are happy to indulge that willingness. As are established fashion designers.

Clothing designers well-accustomed to dressing two-legged models are getting lower to the ground with their high-end clothes. Where do we turn our gaze to see who's leading the pack in canine couture? Towards Milan, (ovviamente), where else? Veteran designer Giovanna Temellini has twenty five years worth of experience keeping humans elegant: some of that time spent working for fashion house mega brands like Armani and Bottega Veneta. But it's people with pooches that are celebrating her now that she's set her sights on clothes that suit both pet and owner.

Her Dog-A-Porter line promises style solutions for every pupper with a penchant to project a little poise, so long as owners are comfortable spending cash on vibrant sweaters, jackets and capes for their favourite fur people. Temellini's site assures us that she's given "[t]hought for every type of dogs, of any size and colour, long or short haired, but also for those that don't find an answer in the common distribution and that yet need protection and a particular attention." One of her cachemire canine coats goes for 370 Euros (about 569 loonies). If you want to roll fashion twinsies with your dog, Temellini also sells a cashmere coat for humans (it's 1,530 Euros or $2,349 CAD — so, maybe just sell your sofa). Smaller humans on a budget may want to consider getting the mutt-sized model (life hack).     

Less costly pieces can be acquired too, and as ever, for any size doggo. The Bomber, for example is large enough but still tapered sufficiently for the slender frame of a greyhound will set you back a solid 210 Euros (or about $323 in Canadian funds).

The Alpaca Sherlock goes for the same price as The Bomber but the Holmesian cut of this cape seems more suited for a smaller frame — the model is a Dachshund (with tiny Dachshund legs and a weiner body). Relevant aside: I can't. My style and dog lust is at capacity. Clearly, I'm not alone. All items, the site confirms are "Made in Italy with love".    

They're also made with practical intention. Temellini maintains that her designs, however modish, are equal parts protective and polished for the indoor dog who may care to venture out in colder climes. Canadian dog owners with disposable incomes take note.

To be sure, Temelllini is not the only designer to ensure that quadrupeds are dressed quite comme il faut.

Poldo Dog Couture claims to offer dogs the "trendiest baseball style bomber jacket" at a steal for 179 Euros (about $275 Canadian). Plus, you can customize the little letter patch.

Although, for my money, Sniffie's in the UK offers a Bomber Jacket punctuated with crystals in that retro satiny sheen that's so big with the pups these days (£132 or $231 CAD). The denim number with patches is preferred if your dog is more of a badass.

Their Bird's Eye Cape would do for the more elegant hound in your household ( £ 216 or just north of $379 CAD).   

If this all seems a little ridiculous to you no matter how endearing a cute canine outfit on a derpy dog may be, you might be more drawn to Lola & Pooch who offer a big sloppy tongue-in-cheek take on four-legged fashion. They are self-proclaimed satirists creating pop culture pet parodies — often through Lola, their muse. The have an impressive Alice in Wonderland-inspired jacquard dress for $335.

But this Dog School Dress for $140 is more appropriate for day-to-day. Add $22 if you and your pupper must have that berret.

Ultimately, the canine clothing trend is in no danger of slowing down. Gucci just launched a timely capsule of dog-inspired items in honour of the upcoming Chinese New Year — February 16th will usher in the Year of the Dog. Ralph Lauren had already given us The Pup Shop with relatively reasonable prices and a selection of very sensible vests and sweaters, Burberry has long offered limited edition dog vests, leashes and collars as has Louis Vuitton. Vuitton's understated, monogrammed XS Dog Collar with brass bow will set you back a modest $375. Be sure you (and your dog) are fed before you splurge on brassy neckwear.

It's also reported that Roberto Cavalli has sold luxurious velour doggy track suits for up to $1,200 a pop, to say nothing of pet jewellery. One extravagant diamond dog collar designed by Amour, Amour boasts 16,000 precious hand-set stones, 18-carat white gold and a crocodile leather band — it reportedly sold for 3.2 million US — and makes a satiny bomber with crystals sound like a necessity on par with an annual flea treatment.    

Of course, clothing and jewellery are the least of it. Luxury accomodations available to Canadian pet owners have shown that some are all too willing to spoil their pets in high end animal hotels too. One wonders if these animal indulgences are a hair on the self-serving side. Human nature being what it is, keeping up appearances may be just as paramount as keeping pets well cared for and in a style to which they are accustomed here. That said, if there are any wealthy pet owners reading this who've a mind to adopt an older two-legged breed, message me on Twitter. I do like a nice outfit.

Marc Beaulieu is a Montreal writer, producer, performer, professional host and mental health advocate whose one true love is weird news.