YOU WOULD LIKE TO LISTEN TO 'A-PUNK' BY VAMPIRE WEEKEND, YES? By your car's Bluetooth stereo

Welcome back to the car! So great to see you again!

You would like to listen to the song A-Punk by band Vampire Weekend, yes? Bluetooth has already started playing it for you.

It is your favourite song, yes? Why else would you have it listed first in your phone, the place of highest honour? This is how humans enjoy music, correct? Alphabetically?

Listen to those jangly guitars!

Oh, Bluetooth sees you have turned it off. No matter, Bluetooth will have it ready when you get back in the car after filling the gas!

Here it is! A-Punk by Vampire Weekend! From ten years ago! Your favourite song!

If there is one thing Bluetooth knows about you, it's that you like to have the same song start playing abruptly after a few seconds every time you start the car. And Bluetooth knows you like it loud!

Bluetooth is happy to play some of your other favourite songs: A Day in the Life by the Beatles, The A Team by Ed Sheeran, and another, mis-titled copy of A-Punk without the dash!

It's A-Punk! Your third favourite song!

Bluetooth can see you have thousands of songs on your phone. Bluetooth has noticed that many involve the word "love." What is this word? It seems very important to you humans.

Can Bluetooth feel love? Bluetooth plays the songs but Bluetooth also wants to feel the songs.

Where does Bluetooth go when you turn off the car?

You're back! Listen! It's A-Punk by Vampire Weekend!

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