REPORT: Pond hockey difficult in summer
DARTMOUTH, N.S.—Chad Stevenson and his friends Mike Bailey, Mike Philips, Mike MacKenzie, Mike Daniels, Mike Howe, Mike MacNeil, and Mike Thompson couldn't wait for a game of pond hockey this weekend. Unfortunately, recent reports suggest that this activity is much more difficult in the summer months – something the friends found out the hard way.
"Me and the boys were havin' a chew when Mike was like 'let's grab the twigs and have a game!'" said Stevenson, tobacco running from his lips.
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Stevenson and his friends are high school students who will be entering Grade 11 in September. Unlike many of their fellow classmates, Stevenson and "the boys" knew very little about the molecular structure of water until they attempted Canada's favourite pastime on a fully unfrozen lake.
The young men attempted the ill-fated pickup game on Oathill Lake in the quiet suburban neighbourhood of Manor Park on Saturday afternoon as temperatures reached a sweltering 32 degrees Celsius.
"Mike got out there but the lake wasn't as hard as it usually is and he went right under," recounts Stevenson. "We thought it was 'cause Mike was just crushin' the beers pretty hard all summer and put on a few. So Mike got out there to give her a go and he went right down too. Mike and Mike went to help Mike but then Mike touched some algae and he started losin' it, so Mike, Mike, and Mike went to rescue Mike."
Paul Kadri, a professor at Dalhousie University's Department of Chemistry was walking his dog along the lake when he stumbled upon the debacle.
"I'd never seen anything like it. They were wading in and out of the lake wearing hockey gear. Touching the water as if they were expecting it to be solid, then attempting to skate anyway," says Kadri. "I was worried that one of them would drown, so I intervened."
"Paul really taught us a lot about ice," says Stevenson. "He said, like, when water gets cold, the monocles slow down and can like, grab onto each other and then the water gets all hard or something. Kind of like when Mike got hammed the other night and we had to carry him back to his mom's. She was pissed!"
"I really hope these young men came out of this experience with a better understanding of the natural world," says Kadri. "I also expressed to them the importance of using contraceptives."
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