Comedy·IF YOU SAY SO

QUIZ: You sure about that?

Moments after you assert your opinion on any issue, does it take half of a kitten sigh to instantly topple all of your confidence?
(Shutterstock / shurkin_son)

Moments after you assert your opinion on any issue, does it take half of a kitten sigh to instantly topple all of your confidence? Don't answer that, you'll only second-guess yourself. Instead, take this extremely useful quiz to determine just how certain you are about what you just said!

1. REALLY?????!

a)     hahahaha no totally just kidding

b)    Only if you agree, otherwise ew

c)     HEY, didn't you mention a, um, a like, movie 15 weeks ago? Let's talk about that instead.

d)    What do you — um, what do you um um, what do you like better, yams or Radiohead?

2. I'd never thought of it that way. Are you sure that's right?

a)     pl — please don't

b)    Seriously, let's not suddenly start going around thinking in ways we've never thought. Haha who does that

c)     Remember beloved teen heartthrob Chris Klein?? How about we have a nice think about him instead!!!

d)    That's great, I'm so happy to have challenged your worldview that I'm just going to climb into this protective nylon sac and I'll see everybody in one month.

3. Just to play devil's advocate, though:

a)     OH THANK GOD I WILL NOD SO MEANINGFULLY ABOUT HOW TRUE YOUR POINT IS

b)    I TOTALLY agree – wait, did you say it yet? No? Whoops

c)     I still agree even without knowing what it is

d)    I love you?

4. I kind of figured you'd say that.

a)     Yep! That's classic me, and I'm standing by it!

b)    Wait what do you mean by that

c)     Like do you think I'm too…..something? Do you think I'm too something???

d)    I'm Googling stock photos of people wrapped in warm blankets and that's what I'm doing and it's normal

5. Huh.

a)     Oh no no no no. "Huh" is by far the worst one.

b)    Do you still like me though?

c)     What if I quit my job on the spot, rush home at 2 p.m. and make you a chocolate torte will you like me better if I do that because I totally will do that??

d)    WHAT DO YOU LIKE BETTER DARK CHOCOLATE OR MILK CHOCOLATE TELL ME YOUR CHOCOLATE EVERYTHING'S FINE?!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sophie Kohn

Writer/Producer

Sophie Kohn is writer and producer with CBC Comedy, a stand-up comedian in Toronto, and a graduate of Second City's Conservatory program.