Permission slip for Ms. Frizzle's upcoming field trip

There's no question that Ms. Frizzle's Magic School Bus offers students a wild, whimsical ride, and her hands-on approach to learning often has her class whirling across the universe on daily adventures.

For parents, however, every day is a living nightmare. Most have blindly signed the catch-all permission slip without actually reading it, and have been riddled with crippling anxiety ever since.

Below, we've secured a copy of the permission slip Ms. Frizzle sent home to parents:

GENERAL PERMISSION SLIP

The student named _________ has my permission to attend any field trip Ms. Frizzle presents, despite the fact that I have been given no prior knowledge of the location or activities in which my child will be participating.

By signing this, I agree to have my child transformed into all manner of plant, animal, microbe, etc. My child will be transported, unvaccinated, to various countries and/or planets, where death is not only a risk, it is almost a guarantee.

I will allow my child to travel aboard the School Bus (hereafter labeled "Magic"), which Ms. Frizzle has extensively modified herself, and is, by all accounts, a sentient being.  

The Magic School Bus is equipped with:

-Functioning eyeballs

-Complex emotions

-A rich inner life

The Magic School Bus is NOT equipped with:

-Seatbelts

I understand that daily field trip activities may include, but are not limited to:

-Rafting a raging river of lava

-Navigating a human intestine

-Getting baked into a pie

In the event that my child should fall ill, I consent to having the other students board the bus, shrink down to the size of a molecule, and enter my child's body in order to learn about my child's illness, without curing it.

In case of emergency, I can be reached at ________

My child's blood type is _________

And, in the case of my child sustaining injury, I would be willing to donate the following organs to him or her: ____________

Signed ______________

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