5 hats Jeff from Today's Special should have worn instead

We all loved Today's Special, a show that aired on TVO and featured the weekly adventures of the four folks you'll find in any department store overnight: the security guard, the display designer, the mannequin, and the very large mouse that only speaks in rhyme.

There was only one real flaw to this splendid piece of entertainment: Jeff, the mannequin who would come to life anytime he wore a hat but then froze in place whenever it fell off, insisted on wearing the flimsiest possible newsboy cap that could (and did!) tumble off at any time.

If this show is ever rebooted, here are 5 more secure options they could go with to keep Jeff alive and kicking at all times.

1) Kangol

If Jeff really insists on leaning in the newsboy cap direction (we know how unforgiving a head shape can be), this is probably the best he can do. It's like a backwards newsboy, which not only should hang on a little more tightly, but is also heavily endorsed by Samuel L. Jackson. And whatever's good enough for Sam is good enough for anybody. And—not to be rude—it's a bit more "modern" of a choice than a newsboy cap. What is this, the 1920s? No. It's 1981 through 1987.

2) Hockey helmet with a chin strap

Hey, do you want to look cool or do you want to guarantee that you will not turn into a mannequin who cannot be rescued unless his friends somehow stumbled upon whatever storage locker he's been hanging out in? That's what I thought.

Plus, nothing's more Canadian.

3) Umbrella beanie

A particularly snug hat that attaches right to the head. And if the sprinkler system goes off? As one would imagine is likely to sometimes happen when you're running around having reckless adventures in an abandoned department store with a sleeping security guard? In an umbrella beanie, that's everybody's problem but yours.

4) A huge neon orange sun hat

No matter which hat you choose, there's still some degree of risk that it will fall off at some point.

In choosing this huge neon-orange sun hat, certainly not selected for its stability upon the head, you're instead banking on the fact that once it does fall, it is so eye-catching with its 6-foot diameter brim and bright summer colour that you'll be found quickly, whether by Jodie, Muffy, or even Sam Crenshaw, who seems fairly nearsighted. Nearsightedness is no match for a giant neon orange sun hat. We've always said that.

5) Toque

This has all the snugness of the helmet, while rocking a slightly more naturalistic look.

Sure, Jeff's glorious brown curls will be hidden under  this bushel, but again, we can't stress enough that sometimes sacrifices are worth making to guarantee you're not frozen in a horrifying limbo from now until the end of time.

Plus? Hardly anything's more Canadian.

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