Netflix orders series about murder yet to be committed

LOS ANGELES, CA—In an effort to stay ahead of the competition, Netflix has picked up a 10-part, real crime, docu-series about a murder that has not even yet been perpetrated.

Netflix CEO Jared Chase tweeted the news about the upcoming show titled: How To Make A Future Murder Killer; Serial Style followed by a smarmy "Suck it, HBO."

"I don't know who it is yet, but I hope it's either someone famous or someone with an accent. I don't think I'm being hyperbolic when I say this show that hasn't been made yet will be the best thing you've ever seen."

Producer Jill Kaptein was asked how she was going to tackle such an undertaking without an actual crime. "If you get someone to hold a folder over their mouth you can just add the audio later," she scoffed. "We interview some 'neighbours' who say they always thought this hypothetical murderer was a nice person. Did a lot of charity work, church on Sundays, that sort of thing. Then we take some badly-out-of-focus jury footage and some facedown crime scene photos and we're 90 percent there."

Kaptein did, however, maintain that there is one hurdle to be overcome. "The hard part is waiting for you know, a murder to actually take place."

This news has piqued the interest of viewers who have already decided that the defendant was set up by a corrupt police force and incompetent judicial system of the small, previously unheard-of town. A campaign to free the yet-to-be-named killer has erupted online and a circulating petition already has over 40,000 signatures.

So far, the gambit appears to have paid off for Netflix, whose subscribers have skyrocketed by 400%. But for now, they will have to wait with baited breath for the most glamorous/gruesome/meticulous, double/triple/multiple, murder/arson/burglary this world has ever seen.

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