Local bar fully powered by bachelorette parties drunkenly yelling lyrics to 'Shoop'

REGINA, SK—Here they go. Here they go. Here they go again.

This weekend, after hosting seven different bachelorette parties, Roxie's Grill and Bar has shared an alarming secret about its operation: all lights, electricity, and hydro in the establishment are fully powered by the overwhelming energy created when raucous groups of women drunkenly yell the lyrics to Salt–N-Pepa's 1993 hit, Shoop.

"We've pinpointed the moment where we know we need to start harnessing the raw, terrifying power generated by these women," explains bar owner Walter Tennant.

"It begins after several rounds of martinis. The women – there's maybe 12 of them, or 14 – they trickle out onto the dance floor in their matching pink shirts, and then those slow, opening beats of Shoop cause their ears to prick up instantly like they're a pack of feral coyotes scouring the god damn prairies for fresh kill."

They. Just. Start. Screaming. Those. Lyrics.- Walter Tennant, bar owner

"There's a long bout of high-pitched screaming at the moment of song recognition," Tennant whispers.

"Often the women will yell 'OH SHIT!' or sometimes they'll hug each other in this weird, sloppy cluster. It's unclear why."

"They. Just. Start. Screaming. Those. Lyrics," Tennant continues.

"Like, all of them. Every last one. And they do it with a force and a passion that – sorry, but I'm going to have to lie down on my little cot in the back if you want me to keep talking about this."

And that's the critical moment when Tennant swiftly activates the complex system of tubes he's installed in the walls of the bar. The tubes pick up on the potent vibrations caused by the yell-singing women, immediately converting them into pure renewable energy.

"I hit the ON switch and just sit back and watch 'em Shoop 'til they droop," Tennant shares.

"I really do mean literally that the night inevitably ends with the bride-to-be slumped lifelessly in a chair, muttering to a random stranger about how much she's always loved his calves."

Bartenders at Roxie's know to warn patrons about the unfathomable intensity that rips through the bar when a bachelorette party hears the beginning of Shoop. Longtime server Mara Chenille explains:

"We servers stay calm about it, but we firmly advise everyone in the bar to maybe take cover in the basement bathrooms, or use the next 4:07 to step outside for a smoke. Use your hands to protect your face, especially your ears. Help each other. Offer assistance to any elderly patrons, pregnant women, the physically vulnerable, or those struggling to help themselves. We distribute blankets and Clif Bars, as well as a laminated one-pager on what to expect."

"You know – the group of women jokingly grinding on each other as they sing, until the bride-to-be's rhinestone tiara falls to the ground and she drunkenly gasps 'Oh noooooo!' and bends down to pick it up, spilling her vodka soda everywhere. That sort of thing. It's like clockwork, really."

Despite the frighteningly overwhelming few minutes the bar is forced to endure multiple times on Friday and Saturday nights, Tennant says the struggle has all been totally worthwhile.

"Our chandeliers always flicker and go dark for a few seconds during the male interlude in the middle of the song, which no one really knows the words to, but other than that, we're pretty much laughing here at Roxie's. We haven't had to pay a hydro bill in like 24 years!"

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.