I do not understand the events described in I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

We need to talk about the 1952 novelty hit "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."

Written by Tommy Connor and recorded by 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd, the song shot to the top of the Billboard chart, and has remained a holiday staple ever since, with covers from the likes of The Jackson 5, The Ronettes and John Mellencamp all becoming hits.

I have heard the song dozens, if not hundreds of times. Here's the first verse:

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom fast asleep

What, exactly, is going on here? I have several possible theories.

Theory #1: Mommy and Daddy like to get freaky

While I had always assumed the Santa in question was actually Daddy in costume, some questions arise: For whose benefit is the costume? Is this a role-play situation, an effort to keep the spark alive in the marriage? More power to them, but how likely is this as subject matter in a 1952 song? Does Daddy keep this costume all year long for a brief Christmas Eve kiss and tickle? Does Santa make appearances other times of year? 

The song was released between the two landmark Kinsey Reports, "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" (1948) and "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" (1953). Society was just beginning to open up about the full spectrum of sexual activity so it feels unlikely this would be the subtext of a novelty song sung by a child.

For what it's worth, this is the interpretation taken by the 2001 made-for-TV movie based on the song starring Dylan and Cole Sprouse. (This is not worth anything.) 

Theory #2: It's really Santa, and Mommy hasn't felt this alive in years 

What if it really is Santa? And if so, where's Daddy?

It's not hard to imagine a scenario where Daddy is off at the bar (perhaps Martini's, the Bedford Falls bar from It's A Wonderful Life, that seemed to have booming Christmas Eve business), leaving Mommy alone to put the kids to bed and stew by the fire. Is it any surprise, then, that the arrival of a true provider in a sharp red suit down the chimney provokes romantic stirrings? It's so deeply wrong, this moment of passion between neglected wife and rotund, immortal elf, but also so right.

Theory #3: Santa is real, and Mommy and Daddy like to get freaky

Upon seeing this embrace, Timmy sings:

Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

Daddy likes to watch, apparently.

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