How to impress Father

Father's Day is just around the corner. Will you be able to impress the old fellow on the big day?  Here are a few tips to help you do just that.

1. Fathers love learning about history. So spend Father's Day fully in character as an airplane from World War II. He will expressionlessly and silently observe you, as you run around the living room with your arms out for several hours.

2. Tell Father that you are Drake. He does not know who or what Drake is, so this may be believable to him.

3. Ask Father to retell the story of when he told off a telemarketer that one time, curtly saying, "How is it you guys always manage to call during supper, eh?" It is his best story and greatest life achievement.

4. Roar at him like a lion.

5. Show Father that you are self-sufficient by spending years grifting and conning on the mean streets of Cincinnati, Ohio.

6. Father may not think of you as such a ninny once woodland animals hear your lute playing and become charmed by it. They will become your army. And you shall wield a great power.

7. Um, try waking up before 11 for once?

8. If you and Father have a moment of awkward silence, casually toss him a football. He will not move to catch it, and it will bounce off his head. Hey, it's better than the silence.

9. Reinforce his status as your family's alpha-male by allowing your body to become weak and withered. This will show that you cannot challenge him physically, and are therefore not a threat.

10. Remember in Infinity War when Dr. Strange gave an Infinity Stone to Thanos for no good reason and then it basically ruined the universe? Don't do that for sure. Dr. Strange.  Friggin' idiot.

11. Take a long time telling Father about the dream you had last night in extreme detail. Everyone loves hearing a long story about someone else's dreams and Father is no exception!

12. Stick up for him on Twitter after he instigates a bizarre trade war with his six closest allies and openly admires dangerous authoritarian leaders.

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook and Instagram.