New parents disappointed in toddler's musical taste
DAWSON CITY, YK—It's no surprise Zak and Amber Hudston met at a concert.
"Zak and I LOVE music!" Amber exclaims. "In fact, we both have tattoos of music notes right behind our ears. We got them to signify that we want you to know we love music."
So when the couple discovered they were pregnant last year, they dreamed about sharing their passion with their soon-to-be-son, Clive.
"After we confirmed the baby had ears, Amber would put headphones over her stomach to play him our favourite albums," explains Zak. "Secretly I was hoping his first words would be 'Hüsker Dü'. Needless to say, I was pretty irritated when it turned out to just be 'Daddy'."
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That didn't stop the Hudstons from trying. When Clive was four months old, they took him to his first Wilco concert. Undeterred by glares from judgmental onlookers, they removed Clive's enormous medical headphones once the band started to play the hits.
"Hmmm, yeah, I guess it'd make sense to spend $130 on front row tickets and not even let him hear the concert," said an eye-rolling Amber.
When Clive threw a tantrum in the middle of the concert however, the parents suddenly realized they had problem.
"At first I thought Amber had cheated on me with someone who had lame taste in music," supposed Zak. "But after a lengthy and expensive paternity test that conclusively proved I was Clive's father, I tend to believe she didn't."
After making Clive apologize to lead singer Jeff Tweedy at the post-concert meet n' greet, the Hudstons rushed their son to a paediatrician. Much to their surprise, the doctor told them Clive was completely healthy. However, when the doctor gently suggested Clive listen to Raffi or Sharon, Lois & Bram instead the parents scoffed.
"If we wanted him to be like everyone else we wouldn't have had a Fugazi-themed bris," Amber shouted.
According to Zak, the problem is only getting worse.
"This past summer I left Clive in the car while I was out shopping for a new bass. When I got back the radio was playing Happy by Pharrell and Clive was smiling like I'd never seen. It was a challenging moment as a parent but I think I handled it well by yelling at him."
"He's got my ears," claims Amber. "So I don't understand why he doesn't like the same music. Maybe I just don't know how ears work."
Zak and Amber say they appreciate that parenting can be tough and have been trying to compromise.
"We bought The Wiggles on vinyl and I gave it a spin. I prefer their earlier stuff to be honest but you can't judge an album on its first listen. The point is we love our son and we're willing to do anything to make this work," Zak explains.
UPDATE: The day after this story was written, Clive was put up for adoption after the Hudstons cited "creative differences" with their son.
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