Four poems about being on hold with customer service

HAIKU

It is not worth it

To wait fifty-four minutes

To return a pen

LIMERICK

There once was a comp'ny called Bell

Off'ring what seemed great deals on a cell

But then two grand a year

So I phoned to get clear

Six hours in 4th circle of hell

ACROSTIC

J ust wondering if you could pick up the
U
S
T

Phone because
I have been listening to
C
Kenny G for

U
P

A
L
R
Eleven hours now
A
D
Y

PETRARCHAN SONNET

What have I been on hold for? Let me count the things

I have waited seventeen minutes

Because I received a pizza box with nothing in it

I gave up after 500 rings

I have waited three-fifths of an hour

To find out what my bank called for

I still don't know what they called for

Didn't pick up, I had to go shower

And I've waited six hours to talk to a computer

To find out what movie was playing

It was one where Matthew McConaughey was portraying

Jennifer Lopez's suitor

Why do I have to talk to a robot to know that!

And yes I did watch it; not great but not bad.

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