Air Canada to charge extra $100 for every inch you want to move your seat back

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – We at Air Canada have heard the complaints regarding the discomfort caused when a passenger finds that a thoughtless fellow flyer in front of them has decided to treat the plane like a giant La-Z-Boy and recline to their hearts' content.

We have resolved to change the situation, and uncharacteristically for us, we have decided to try to make a little dough off of it in the process.

Beginning today, for every inch you would like to recline your seat on an Air Canada flight, we will charge you a fee of $100.

We are not greedy; we will take only $50 of the $100, and the remaining $50 will go to the passenger seated behind you. They are bearing the true brunt of your selfishness, and they deserve some compensation. As do we, just because. We like compensation; it's our favourite four-syllable word.

If this pilot project (ha!) works out as well as we imagine it will, we reserve the right to consider implementing fees for other small customer-initiated impositions, including but not limited to:

• $5 for each percentage of arm rest occupied
• $10 for each time you press the viewing screen so hard that the person in front of you feels it. (Unless they have their seat reclined, in which case you couldn't help it. Physics.)
• $1.25 for each shove you use to try to cram your oversized carry-on item in the overhead bin. This charge, known as the Futile Forced Fit Fee, is a favourite around the office.
• $100,000 if you turn your air vent or reading light on and off more than 10 times during a flight of any length.

We look forward to taking this journey forward into new fees with you all. We hope it will result in an improved passenger experience, and if not, just a bunch of money for everyone including us.

NOTE: funds received may not be used toward a seat upgrade. If every passenger has their seat reclined, all cash offers are revoked.

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