5 restaurants nobody goes to, until this article comes out of course

Have you been combing the city for its hidden culinary gems, undiscovered by the masses? Search no more, for these are the very delights you've sought, though you are finding out along with the rest of the masses and will never get in now.

Still, you could imagine, right?

Hank's Macha Shack

You do not want to miss this one with its delightful and refreshing macha; mind you it will definitely now be a bit of a wait to get in.

Mas Burrito, Por Favor

This restaurant, which among its many quirky charms does not serve burritos of any kind, is a lovely little location without many people.

And if you're reading this, so are all of them. So don't even bother!

If You're Looking For Bubble, You Came To The Right Place

This bubble tea joint, which you shouldn't even think about visiting because now we've written about it and it's no longer the hidden gem that it was, and that was the reason we put it on this list of hidden gems which, to reiterate, it isn't anymore and will not be, is really good. You'll never find out, but trust us.

We're Outta Corn!

This east-end haunt, which does intend to sell corn but is often genuinely out of corn because they don't buy enough corn, will definitely always be out of corn now. You would be smart not to go, though lots more people will be going than ever before, because of this listicle, a listicle which I am becoming quickly convinced is a net negative for the world and the city.

Kathleen's Empty Palace

Surely this location will no longer live up to its name. I think I'm the only one who's ever been there. It had great burgers, but I shouldn't even tell you that! You were far better off before this information was let out into the world, although I guess Kathleen wasn't.

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