Are you very demure? How to be very mindful of the latest TikTok trend taking over the internet

Transgender Puerto Rican influencer is re-defining what it means to be demure on her own terms

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Caption: Demure is the latest TikTok catchphrase to go viral, seen here in a play on the cover art for Charli XCX's album Brat, which popularized the idea of brat summer. Demure emerged as kind of a counterpoint to that trend. (CBC)

Are you very demure? Very mindful? Very cutesy? How can you know? Turns out, demure comes from within.
Demure is the internet's newest buzzword made popular by TikTok creator Jools Lebron. Earlier this month, Lebron posted a video(external link) that took social media by storm and has already racked up more than 40.4 million views.
The hair and makeup she's wearing to work? "Very demure. Very mindful," she says in the video. But demure, explains Lebron in an interview with CBS Mornings(external link), is about more than appearance. It's a statement of self-awareness and confidence.

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"Your demure is what it means to you. It's being mindful and considerate of the people around you, but also of yourself and how you present to the world," Lebron said.
What's delightful about this trend is its edge and how it pushes back against historical norms, explains pop culture and digital media expert Shana MacDonald, the O'Donovan Chair in Communication at the University of Waterloo.
Once, demure described a more traditional, antiquated form of white femininity, MacDonald told CBC News. Think pearls, perfectly crisp dresses and docility. But she says Lebron, a transgender Puerto Rican woman, is re-defining what it means to be demure on her own terms.
"It opens up the possibility of what demure means."

Image | TikTok Trend Compensation

Caption: TikTok creator Jools Lebron, left, appears with talk show personality Guillermo Rodriguez on the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live! Monday in Los Angeles. Lebron's TikTok where she used the phrase 'very demure, very mindful' to describe her look was what set off the new trend. (Randy Holmes/ABC-Disney/The Associated Press)

It's interesting, too, that Lebron pairs demure with mindful, says Zorianna Zurba, an assistant professor in the Creative School at Toronto Metropolitan University. In this way, to be demure is also to be aware of the impact of our self-presentation on others, she told CBC News.
The fact that Lebron is transgender adds another layer of meaning about how she's specifically choosing to present herself, Zurba said.
"If it had come from a trad wife, it would mean something very different."

Demure, a counterpoint to brat

Demure emerged as kind of a counterpoint to brat summer, a term already popular this season thanks to British artist Charli XCX's album brat. In a TikTok video(external link), she described a brat as "that girl who is a little messy and likes to party and maybe says some dumb things sometimes."
According to CBC Radio's Sunday Magazine, the term brat morphed from there into more of a reclamation of an empowered, strong-headed, disobedient woman.
LISTEN | What is brat summer?

Media Audio | The Sunday Magazine : From 'brat' to 'weird' – memes and online slang are changing the world

Caption: Something "weird" – or maybe something "brat" – seems to be happening with internet slang this summer. The language of the chronically-online is transcending TikTok and entering the political arena, with some potentially lasting, real world consequences. In the latest installment of Word Processing, our ongoing look at language, Gen Z linguist Adam Aleksic tells Piya Chattopadhyay about the political and cultural force of memes and online language… and how it all shapes our popular lexicon.

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After Lebron posted her video, demure caught on and spread online. Demurely, of course
Essentially, to be demure is to be reserved, or not brat, explains Emily Zwicker, 20, a registered nurse in Halifax. Neat and tidy handwriting? Demure. Cute outfit? Demure. Going out partying with your friends every weekend? Brat.
"I'll wear a slicked-back bun, and I'll be like, 'See, I don't do too much with my hair. It's very demure, very mindful,' " Zwicker told CBC News.
"I wish I could be demure, but I feel like I'm more on the brat side of things. On the weekends, I like to be brat, but when I'm working, I try to be demure," she said.

Image | Emily Zwicker

Caption: Emily Zwicker, 20, is seem in Italy this May during what she called her 'brat summer' Europe trip. The nurse from Halifax describes this photo as demure, but also brat. (Submitted by Emily Zwicker)

Everyone is suddenly 'very demure'

In addition to Lebron's own viral content that continues to describe various day-to-day, arguably reserved or modest activities with adjectives like "demure," "mindful" and "cutesy," several big names have also hopped on the trend across social media platforms.
Celebrities like Jennifer Lopez(external link) and Penn Badgley(external link) have shared their own playful takes. The cast of Netflix's Emily in Paris hopped on the trend,(external link) using "very demure and very mindful" to describe their outfits at the Season 4 premiere.
Soon after, Netflix created its own "very demure, very mindful" playlist(external link), which includes Emily in Paris, Gilmore Girls, Bridgerton and Sweet Magnolias.
Even the White House used the words to boast(external link) the Biden-Harris administration's recent student debt relief efforts.
"Cancelling the student debt of nearly 5 million Americans through various actions. Very mindful. Very demure," the White House wrote in a recent post on social media platform X.

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The San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance recently explained the difference using pandas, describing giant pandas as brat summer and "pumpkin spice pandas" (ie., red pandas) as demure fall.

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Straightforward, right?
"It's hard to explain," Zwicker admits.
"It's a word that people are just using in many different contexts. There's no right way to use it, but it's always used to describe something very reserved, very clean, very cute."
WATCH | It's been a brat girl summer:

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Caption: You’ve heard of ‘hot girl summer.’ Well, this year it’s ‘brat girl summer’ thanks to Charli XCX’s hit album Brat. CBC’s Ashley Moliere tells us what it means to be ‘brat’ and why the pop star is honouring U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris with the title

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Zurba, the pop culture expert with Toronto Metropolitan University, says she also sees demure playing into the emerging under-consumption trend(external link), in which young people are buying less and focused more on sustainability. (Like minimalism, but rebranded for Gen Z.)
In her original viral video, for instance, Lebron says she doesn't "come to work with a green cut crease," a dramatic eye makeup style that creates a contrast by using several different types of products.
"What she's suggesting is that femininity can be myriad of things," Zurba said.
Including very demure.