Inchstones celebrate a kid's every tiny triumph. But do potty parties and binky sendoffs go too far?
Natalie Stechyson | CBC News | Posted: February 17, 2024 6:32 PM | Last Updated: February 17
There's a difference between acknowledging and celebrating, one expert notes
Prizes for potty training. Cakes celebrating baby's first steps. Back-to-school theme breakfasts. "Bye-bye binky" balloons. Parties for growing, or losing, teeth.
If it seems like parents are celebrating every tiny triumph these days, well, many are.
Inchstones — like milestones but, as the name implies, smaller — were predicted to be one of the top parenting trends of 2024 by Pinterest's annual trends forecast. In an analysis of its data from September 2021 through August 2023, the popular platform cited trends like a 90 per cent increase in searches for end-of-year school parties, the same increase in searches for monthly milestone ideas and a 40 per cent rise in "first tooth party" searches.
"In 2024, tiny triumphs will make the heart grow fonder as parents sprinkle party vibes on their kids' not-so-grand moments," Pinterest says in the report. "Baby's first tooth? Here's a cupcake. Potty training success? Extra sprinkles, please."
Parenting publications have jumped aboard, calling inchstones "the biggest parenting trend for 2024," "magical," and a "teaching tool."
Online marketplace Etsy sells "first tooth" banners, crowns and cake toppers, Amazon sells potty training party decorations, and social media videos abound of bye-bye binky balloon releases to celebrate a little one letting go of their pacifier.
But a parenting expert warns that as well-intentioned as the trend may be, celebrating every tiny milestone can backfire — both for parents and kids.
On one hand, anything positive that parents can celebrate with their children — and really bring busy parents into the present moment — is a good thing, especially in a post-pandemic era full of heightened stress and economic instability, said Julie Romanowski, a parenting coach and consultant in Vancouver.
But there is a concern when parents take a celebration too far, she told CBC News.
"We could find ourselves in a trap of outdoing the last one, and getting bigger and bigger and better, and having more, and it just becomes out of control and it has nothing to do with the feelings of what the child is going through," Romanowski said.
"We want to acknowledge — not necessarily celebrate and throw a party."
WATCH | Why kids need risky play:
Over the top
Historically, some cultures around the world have always celebrated different baby milestones.
For instance, in Chinese culture, there's a celebration to mark the baby's 100th day of life. In some Middle-Eastern countries, it's common to celebrate baby's first tooth with a big party.
But this generation of parents of young children tends to go over the top, Romanowski said.
"Boomers ... I can almost hear their eyes rolling" about this trend, she said with a laugh.
Generation Alpha (kids born between 2010 and 2025) are often viewed in popular culture as the most over-indulged cohort of children. The recent Sephora kids outrage is one example, where people have been complaining online about kids wasting samples, being rude to employees and spending large amounts of money on products for adults.
"The problem's the parents," one TikTok user said in a video with 3.8 million likes.
Forbes has pointed out that most Generation Alpha kids will be predisposed to expect instant gratification, partly because they have a high likelihood of being in a single-child family. McCrindle Research describes it as "the most materially endowed generation ever," and Pew Research Centre found that parents today are more likely to admit that they "praise too much" rather than criticize too much.
"When we give our kids too much ... it loses its value," Romanowski said.
Giving a kid a giant cake for something small may may result in a lack of motivation to keep pushing. Also, she added, there's a risk that the child will start expecting rewards.
"Then we've created a bit of a monster."
When inchstones are everything
But there's another group of parents proudly celebrating every tiny triumph.
While the trend may have gone mainstream in 2024, parents of kids with disabilities and complex needs have always celebrated so-called inchstones, like hitting weight percentiles, or reaching for a cracker. On TikTok, nearly all of the videos tagged #inchstones are of kids taking tentative steps with walkers, happily learning to eat with utensils, or proudly putting together a toy car track on their own.
The term inchstones is commonly used in the disability community, where what others may consider typical developmental milestones (walking, talking, tying your shoelaces) may not happen on the same timeline, in the same way, or at all.
"I've always celebrated the small things because since he was small, I never knew what his capabilities would be," said Helen Carriere, whose son Thomas, 11, has autism and attention-deficit disorder (ADD).
"My son learned how to ride a bike this summer, and I cried."
Carriere told CBC News that they celebrated when Thomas started speaking at age four, when he wore a suit at his grandmother's wedding despite finding dress clothes too itchy, when he got on an airplane so they could travel as a family, when four friends came to his birthday party, and when he joined a hockey team and participated all season.
"That was huge," Carriere, of Alymer, Que., said about the hockey. "And then I'd look at other parents and they would be like, 'Yeah, this is just a normal Saturday,' and I'd be like, 'No, this is huge for us.'"
While she says she thinks it's hard for parents of neurotypical children to appreciate just how big these milestones are for kids like Thomas, she also doesn't mind the inchstones trend going mainstream.
"It's cute," she said. "We do what works for us and other people do what works for them, and if celebrating losing a tooth works for them, who am I to say if it's wrong or right?"