Lindsey Harrington has made the 2023 CBC Nonfiction Prize longlist for Free or Less. The shortlist will be announced on Sept. 14 and the winner will be announced on Sept. 21.

If you're interested in the CBC Literary Prizes, the 2024 CBC Short Story Prize is open for submissions.

Lindsey Harrington is a Nova Scotian writer with Newfoundland roots. Her work is deeply influenced by both places, often exploring themes of belonging. She was shortlisted for the Budge Wilson Short Fiction Prize, won the Rita Joe Poetry Prize, and has been published by outlets including Off Topic Publishing. She's preparing to query a short story collection about breakups and a memoir about choosing not to have children based on this essay. She's a founding member of the Tuft's Cove Writers Collective and host of Dart Speak, a Writers' Open Mic.

"Childfree in a pronatalist society."

"Growing up in a small, religious town, having children was a question of when, not if. But in my 20s, I decided I didn't want to go down that road. Still, when my siblings and close friends started having kids, I felt less than, othered, and left behind. Children seemed to be the centre of everything. My reckoning came to a boil when my best friend told me she was pregnant during the first wave of the pandemic, and I felt grief — not joy — then guilt and horror over my reaction. That started a personal reckoning and emotional journey to process my feelings. I wrote this essay and expanded it into a memoir, which along with therapy and medication saved me and my relationships."

The words that change everything sound so far away through the cellphone speaker — almost unreal. "I'm pregnant."

Outside, it's a bright, spring day but inside, it's cold and dark. I pace the length of my kitchen, staring at the grout lines between the tiles. My best friend's words reverberate in my head. I'm pregnant.

I want to cry — but not tears of joy. I want to weep ugly tears of mourning and bitter ones of betrayal. Ronnie is on a train I will never board, on her way to a destination where I will never live. Motherhood. A chasm has split open between us, a sea so wide and all-encompassing that she will become unknowable and unreachable to me.

The winner of the 2023 CBC Nonfiction Prize will receive $6,000 from the Canada Council for the Arts, have their work published on CBC Books and win a two-week writing residency at Artscape Gibraltar Point. Four finalists will each receive $1,000 from the Canada Council for the Arts and have their work published on CBC Books.

The 2024 CBC Short Story Prize is currently open until Nov. 1, 2023 at 4:59 p.m. ET. The 2024 CBC Nonfiction Prize will open in January 2024 and the 2024 CBC Poetry Prize will open in April 2024.