What it's like to be married to a doctor on the COVID-19 front line
CBC Radio | Posted: April 10, 2020 4:47 PM | Last Updated: April 10, 2020
Jill Lansky is trying to support her husband, an emergency room doctor, while living four provinces away
When Jill Lansky and her husband Andrew Cameron got married just two years ago, she knew that her partner would often be working long hours in a stressful career.
But she had no way of knowing that Andrew would be one of the emergency room doctors fighting on the front lines of a global pandemic.
"The best way that I'm dealing with it is to put it in a little box, and put it to the side," Jill says. "Because if I let myself think about the potential risks and potential outcomes, I would have a meltdown."
Separating to stay safe
Last month, they made a tough decision. Because of Andrew's risk of exposure to the coronavirus, Jill packed a suitcase and left for Vancouver, to stay with her parents. Andrew stayed behind in their Toronto home.
"I don't think we really thought it would be quite as long as it might be," Jill admits. When he dropped her off at the airport on March 13, they assumed they would only be apart for a few weeks. Now, it's looking like it will be months before they see each other again.
Jill and Andrew try to connect at least once a day over text and video calls.
"As difficult as it can be, especially when you're missing each other, I try to be a source of laughter and positivity," Jill says. "Because I know he's dealing with such serious stuff at the hospital."
At Toronto's St. Michael's and Sunnybrook hospitals, where Andrew is a resident, he describes it as "the calm before the storm." He and his colleagues are spending their days preparing for the inevitable surge of COVID-19 patients seeking care.
It does nobody any favours to say you're not afraid right now. - Andrew Cameron
"It's unnerving," Andrew says. "It makes me feel silly to look back at a time where I didn't worry about getting sick at work, and I didn't worry about my colleagues being unwell."
He admits to feeling fear.
"I feel afraid for myself, I feel afraid for my patients," he said.
He's also struggling with being forced to see more of his patients from behind glass. In an effort to save personal protective equipment, doctors are only entering patients' rooms when necessary.
"And that's a terrible thing to take away from a doctor, that human connection," he says. "Especially at a time where you're telling people that they have a disease they're equally afraid of."
'The two of us take turns being the sad one'
Jill is doing her best to support her husband, despite living four provinces apart. They joke that they "take turns being the sad one."
"One of us is tough for the other one for a few minutes, and then we swap when the other one needs it," Andrew says.
They're also looking forward to the moment when they can finally reunite.
"I want to do cheesy stuff, hold hands, go get some ice cream, and just not talk for awhile," Andrew says.
Meanwhile, Jill just wants to "be a little family with our dog, literally just sit on the couch reading and watching TV and just being together."
"So let me get this straight," Andrew says with a laugh. "You want to be inside, on the couch, after months of quarantine?"
The pandemic has tested their relationship in interesting ways.
"I've learned she's remarkably resilient," Andrew says. "We're learning just how tough and how strong the marriage is. And that's one of those lessons you never want to learn the hard way, but you're very happy when it turns out your marriage is built on such a good foundation."