Why Merrie-Ellen Wilcox wrote a nonfiction book for children that explores death and grieving
Ryan B. Patrick | | Posted: October 11, 2019 2:15 PM | Last Updated: October 11, 2019
Merrie-Ellen Wilcox's nonfiction book After Life is a unique look at how death has been treated through history and around the world. Geared for children aged 9 to 12, each chapter is devoted to a different myth or cultural tradition around death. The book ends with a discussion about how to deal with grief or help others who are dealing with loss.
It is now shortlisted for the 2019 TD Canadian Children's Literature Award. The $50,000 prize is the biggest in Canadian children's literature. The winner will be announced on Oct. 15, 2019.
Wilcox is a writer and editor who grew up in British Columbia. After Life is her second book, following the nonfiction book about bees, What's the Buzz?
Let's talk about death
"The book came about after I finished my first book and sort of by accident. I was on the board of the Victoria Hospice Society. I was sitting in a meeting one day and was feeling a bit bored. I started thinking about how fun it was to write that first book and what I was going to write about next.
"We were talking about things related to hospice and I started thinking about death. I jumped on my bike after the meeting and went home to my desk. I searched the Internet to realize that I couldn't find any nonfiction books on the subject for kids aged 9 to 12 about death and grief.
There were picture books for younger kids and novels for older kids about grief but no nonfiction for this particular age group. I was amazed by that fact. -Merrie-Ellen Wilcox
"There were picture books for younger kids and novels for older kids about grief but no nonfiction for this particular age group. I was amazed by that fact. I started asking around — including teachers, librarians, booksellers, parents and grandparents — and realized there was a desperate need for this book. And so I jumped in."
A scientific approach
"In structuring the book, I wanted to deal with the subject of death and grief on a scientific level. We don't live forever so what causes us to die? What happens after we die? I wanted to cover the factual side of things — but I also wanted to depict the cultural side. I specifically wanted to show that ever since there was human culture, we've dealt with death and dying. It's a huge defining theme from the very beginnings of humanity.
Across cultures there are so many myths, legends, stories and ideas about death. But there are also commonalities. - Merrie-Ellen Wilcox
"Across cultures there are so many myths, legends, stories and ideas about death. But there are also commonalities. I looked into those elements and each chapter includes a story from different part and culture of the world — from Greek and Egyptian to North American Indigenous and African Indigenous and so on.
"I got fascinated by the incredible diversity of ways of thinking about death and the clear themes that are repeated over and over and over again. I tried to weigh both the cultural and historical aspects and maintain a balance between uniqueness and diversity."
What kids can handle
"Writing this book crystallized my thinking about how bad we are in our current culture at dealing with grief. I felt that it was so important for children not to be shut out from talking about the subject. We have this tendency to exclude children from funerals, from people who are dying and from any discussion of death. We just shut them out because either we want to protect them or we think that they don't get it.
I wanted to empower kids with the knowledge that everyone experiences grief — and there are certain commonalities in grief around the world. - Merrie-Ellen Wilcox
"But kids are resilient. I wanted to empower kids with the knowledge that everyone experiences grief — and there are certain commonalities in grief around the world. But we do all experience death differently. It's important to not shut them down or tell them to hurry up and get over it.
"It's been fascinating to see the response to the book. It's such a taboo topic to talk to kids so directly and openly about death. The responses to it have ranged from incredibly positive to absolutely dead silence. It's just been really fascinating to see that it's one or the other. But I'm absolutely thrilled and I would just love for After Life to get into as many children's hands as possible."
Merrie-Ellen Wilcox's comments have been edited for length and clarity. You can read more interviews from the How I Wrote It series here.