WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to the United States trademark office, one of the country's most popular slogans will be changing very soon.

One Donald J. Trump apparently filed an application late last night, petitioning to amend his classic slogan "You're fired" to better reflect current circumstances.

The new version, "You're fired (because you're investigating my ties to Russia)" goes into official use beginning tomorrow and is expected to be employed (ironic choice of word, perhaps) regularly.

Though this is the first new application Trump has filed, it's not the first time he's attempted to implement a new version of his catchphrase, having previously tried out such variations as "You're fired (because you won't immediately implement my very questionable travel ban)" and "You're fired (from your position as National Security Advisor, about two weeks after you should have been, and also you should have never been hired in the first place, but you were really useful for talking to Russia for me)" and finally, "You're fired (or you would be if you weren't technically my wife. I guess it's called a divorce? Well anyway, we should live in separate states. What do you mean that sounds so great?!?)"

At press time, Reince Priebus had also filed to change his famous catchphrase from "I have a catchphrase?" to "You might expect me, Reince Priebus, to have a catchphrase, but in fact I do not. Oh maybe something like 'Maybe Reince, but never again.' No, that doesn't work at all, that's terrible. Forget it. I'll submit a different application tomorrow. Oh that fax went through???"