End it or mend it? We're answering your toughest relationship questions
CBC | Posted: November 17, 2016 8:15 PM | Last Updated: November 17, 2016
Relationships, whether they be romantic in nature or friendships, are complicated. And sometimes, deciding whether a relationship should be severed or if it's worth salvaging is even trickier. We invited viewers to write in with their relationship issues and our hosts offered their opinions on whether to end things — or mend them. Have a look at some of these issues and decide for yourselves!
1. "My friend is about to marry someone I really do not like. They've not been together very long but she's already become a different person around him. We've gotten into some pretty heated debates as he has some problematic views about feminism and race and she always takes his side. When it comes to my friendship, do I end it or mend it?"
We say: MEND IT! Remember who you're friends with: it's her, not him. Talk to your friend and ensure that she knows why you're offended by the things her boyfriend is saying. Let her know that you'd prefer to keep it just the girls when you hang out, as to avoid any fighting. You're never going to convince her that she's not dating the right guy, that's something she has to realize on her own. If she continues to change and share more of his problematic views, then revisit your decision.
2. "My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He recently suggested a threesome as a way to spice things up in the bedroom. I've never done or said anything to suggest I'd be okay with this and the fact he thought I'd be remotely interested this has left a really bad taste in my mouth. What should I do?"
We say: MEND IT! Communication is key with this one. You have to let him know why his suggestion bothered you, and set the boundaries in terms of raising the issue again. He says he wants to reinvigorate things in the bedroom, which is worthy of discussion. It just has to be done in a way you both feel comfortable with.
3. "One of my friends is constantly on her phone when we're together. We'll be at dinner or out for a drink and she won't put the damn thing down, even when it's just the two of us. I've expressed my displeasure but then the next time we hang out it's the same thing all over again. It's maddening. What should I do?"
We say: END IT! If you've made plans and the friend you're with has their nose buried in their phone, it shows that they think what's happening online is more important than the time they're spending with you. Since you've spoken to her about it and she still continues to act the same way, it shows that she doesn't care about her feelings. Let her go!
4. "My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and I THOUGHT he was "the one" However, a few months ago my mom passed away and he wasn't really there for me. I had to lean on my friends for emotional support. I just don't think he knows how to deal with stressful real-life issues and now I am questioning everything. Should I break up with him or work things out?"
We say: END IT! Life isn't always smooth sailing, there are ebbs and flows, and you don't want to be with someone who's going to shut down when you need them the most — especially if you're considering starting a family together.
5. "I've been married for 12 years. I recently found out my husband had an affair with a coworker. We have two kids and he desperately wants me to forgive him. I think the only way I can move past this is if he quits his job, but he says he can't because he'd be taking a major pay cut to go anywhere else. Should I end it or mend this marriage?"
We say: END IT! Unless he's willing to quit his job, which shows that he's ready to make your relationship — and family — a priority, above everything else. If not, it will take a lot of work to repair those trust issues, especially if he's still spending 40-50 hours a week around the person he had an affair with.
6. "I've been friends with someone for more than 20 years. Her 17-year-old son recently came out as gay and she reacted horribly. I did not expect this of her and frankly I think she's being unreasonable. It's made me see her in a whole new light. What should I do?"
We say: MEND IT! It's time to have a conversation with your friend. Try to reason with her, and remind her that her child deserves his mother's love and support, regardless of who he's dating. If she doesn't budge, end things. But, do reach out to her son and let him know that you're there as an adult to support him — even if his mom can't do the same.
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