CHATHAM, ON—Despite a long marriage and three healthy children, Waterford Public School gym teacher Dave Rathge, 35, admits his annual square dancing unit is the only time he truly feels alive.

"Some people look at my comfortable income and stable home life and think I have it all," said the long-time elementary school Phys. Ed. instructor. "But all those things are worthless and insignificant compared to the feeling that washes over me when I make my students do-si-do."

While the provincial physical education curriculum hasn't mandated social dance since 1998, Rathge single-handedly persuaded the Lincoln-Kent school district to allow him to continue square dancing, citing its importance in teaching his students timing, moving to pattern in relationship with a group, rhythm, endurance, and social values.

"Yeah, that's just what I have to say to keep the unit," said the K-6 teacher. "Really it's about me and my need for the dance. Without it, I'm a shell of a man."

"Now if you'll excuse me I need to tell a bunch of awkward children to swing their partners round and round," said Rathge before returning to his disinterested class.

While his square dance unit normally only lasts four weeks of the second semester, Rathge estimates he spends "at least 200 unpaid hours" each year selecting new music and updating the choreography. Additionally, Rathge has also spent over $12,000 out of pocket over the years to ensure it meets his lofty standards.

"The wife got pretty mad when I took out kitchen renovation money to buy the gym a state-of-the-art sound system," said Rathge. "But without high-quality sound, how are they supposed know when specifically to promenade?"

The teacher of 12 years said the school district refused to cover the cost on account of his having already spent his entire annual budget on gingham petticoats, western shirts, and bolo ties for "dance uniforms."

Ultimately however, Rathge doesn't mind the extra time or cost so long as he's free to teach "[his] way."

"Most teachers will speak of the satisfaction they feel from reaching and bringing confidence to young people and making a difference in their lives," said Rathge. "I am not one of those people. I could give a fuck about any of that so long as they allemande left at my command."

"It's not only my greatest joy, it's my only joy," he added shortly before berating his class of Grade 2 students for their lack of enthusiasm.