RICHMOND HILL, ON—Martin Cortez wishes he could tell his son Diego that he is proud of him. Tragically, however, a bomb in his brain is preventing that from ever happening.

"I signed a deal with the devil," Cortez explains. "In exchange for a sizeable trust fund for my boy I had an explosive device surgically implanted in my head. It will detonate instantly if I express any terms of endearment towards my son. It's sad, but my wife and I have modest incomes and I want what's best for Diego."

The devil in question is 87-year-old deranged billionaire Mortimer Prescott.

"Shortly after Diego was born I received an invitation to meet with Mr. Prescott," recounts Cortez. "I was blindfolded, picked up in a limousine, and driven to a huge mansion. Inside there were naked people wearing strange masks. I was escorted to Mr. Prescott's office where he presented me with a contract. The rest is history."

When asked why he paid a loving father to never show fondness towards his son, Prescott shrugged. "My father never praised me for my accomplishments so I decided to shit on someone else's sundae."

Although the trust fund ensures his son's long-term stability, Cortez's decision has meanwhile caused turmoil at home. "My husband's emotionally unavailability has always distressed our boy," says Cortez's wife Elizabeth. "Every time Diego brought home an A on a report card or a gold medal from a soccer tournament Martin would just stare at him blankly and walk into the basement."

"Martin is a deeply sensitive man who is in touch with his feelings," says family therapist Bishen Singh. "A lot of men restrain from showing affection towards their children due to social norms that associate masculinity with being emotionally reserved. But in Martin's case, he just doesn't want to paint his living room walls with grey matter."

On Diego's 18th birthday his seven-figure trust fund was released and his parents finally revealed the sacrifice his father made to secure his financial future.

"I guess you can't buy a Lamborghini with 'I'm proud of you's," remarked Diego. "And now that I'm rich, even strangers shower me with the affection that's been absent for most of my life."