CALGARY, AB—After their dinner date Wednesday, Ashley Nguyen, 37, told Jin Deng, 36, that she worried "things were moving a little fast," to which the emotionally stunted man replied he was "happy to take things slow."

"Seriously, that's totally cool," said the deeply repressed Deng as the pair walked from the restaurant to Nguyen's car.

"In fact, that's better than cool," Deng joked, taking solace in the knowledge that he'd be safe, at least temporarily, from his twin fears of love and intimacy.

"It's not like anyone's telling us we need to get married or anything," Deng continued, laughing nervously as he thought about his total inability to form meaningful romantic connections.

As they approached her car, Nguyen asked Deng if he was okay.

"Me? Oh yeah, absolutely," Deng said, roughly twenty-eight years after his cold and demanding father told him "only women cry" when he lost his teddy bear, setting off a psychological chain reaction that would prevent him from ever allowing himself to truly feel anything.

Nguyen gestured to her car, a 2009 blue Nissan Maxima, as she looked up at Deng.

"Well, this is me," she said. "See ya!"

"See ya," Deng said.

As Nguyen got in her car and drove away, Deng breathed a sigh of relief and walked home, relaxing as he realized he would no longer be forced to confront his many deep-seeded, psychological barriers to intimacy.