SASKATOON, SK—Just minutes before his 10 AM class Thursday morning, preeminent Canadian labour historian and distinguished University of Saskatchewan professor Dr. Warren Yi told colleagues he plans to spend Canada Day "just totally fucking hammered on history."

"As soon as I wake up, I'm just gonna start straight pounding pre-Confederation primary sources," Dr. Yi said, chuckling to himself as he imagined how completely mangled he'd get reading firsthand accounts of Jacques Cartier and Samuel De Champlain.

Sources close to Dr. Yi confirmed that, as soon as the professor got a good buzz going, he intended to hit that academic shit hard.

"I'll probably begin with Harold Innis' ridiculously dank 1930 masterpiece The Fur Trade in Canada," Dr. Yi said, adding that the author's deeply nuanced analysis of the early colonial political economy would leave him "absolutely polluted".

"From there, it's just speedball after speedball of scholarly articles on the road to Confederation," Dr. Yi said, bragging that the historical narrative which inspired Canada Day would give him a high that Keith Richards couldn't handle.

"After I hit that peak confederation high, I like to mellow a bit," said Dr. Yi, brushing the dust from the elbow patch on his weathered blazer. "Most likely, I'll crack open Pierre Berton's The National Dream and let that lunatic lead me on a psychedelic journey through his two-book history of the construction of the Canadian Pacific Railway."

Continued Dr. Yi, "Then, as the sun falls from the sky and the sound of mirth and firecrackers fill the air, I'll just lay back on my couch and watch old CBC broadcasts on the '95 Quebec referendum, tripping the fuck out on how close this Canadian experiment came to all crashing down."

According to sources at the university, Dr. Yi grew wistful as he gathered his books for class and readied to leave.

"Canadian history, man," Dr. Yi said, rising from his chair and shaking his head in awe. "That shit just gets you lit."