OTTAWA, ON—The federal government announced today that the new series of $100 banknotes featuring notable Canadian women will be worth $73 to accurately reflect the country's wage gap.

"And that's only if the iconic woman is white," clarifies Bill Morneau, Canada's Minister of Finance. "If she's a woman of colour, we'll be lowering the value of the $100 bill even more."

The sobering announcement comes a day after International Women's Day, when Prime Minister Trudeau unveiled his plan to roll out the new bills in 2018. Trudeau says that he absolutely supports the adjustment to the value of the banknotes.

"It's crucial that our currency reflect the strong, brilliant women who contribute to this country," Trudeau said in a press conference on Parliament Hill this morning. "It's also crucial that we sufficiently devalue that currency to accurately reflect how those women are treated in the workplace."

Some Canadians expressed concerned that it will be logistically confusing to have some bills in their wallets that are worth their face value, while others are worth less.

"I know, I know," says Morneau. "It'll be a bit of a shitshow if you're out shopping with cash. But be thankful. If these new lady banknotes had come out 20 years ago, we would have had to yank the $100 bill down to 7 cents or something crazy! $73 is nothing to sneeze at. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go polish my yacht that contains my slightly smaller yacht."

Morneau says there was some talk of also adding notable women to the Canadian Tire money, but it was impossible to lower the value of those bills any further without delving into negative numbers, so the idea was quickly scrapped.