KENNEBUNKPORT, MAINE—Having a child is the most important thing a woman can accomplish in her life. However, due to modern feminism and the abuse of "free thinking" more and more women are deciding not to procreate. One mother has had enough of her friends' selfish behaviour and anti-breeder attitudes. We sat down with Tanya Clark, a mom from Kennebunkport, to discuss this epidemic.

"I mean, it's one thing to spit directly in God's mouth by denying Him a baby, but it's another to flaunt your non puke-stained clothes and un-chewed breasts around town," Clark says. "It makes me very uncomfortable when I'm out with my friends and I'm the only one holding a fresh baby. I'm just asking that they respect and support my lifestyle choice."

"Non-breeders" – otherwise known as "devil women" – are hard to identify because they blend in with regular women in society. But look closely – sometimes, what you thought was a BABYBJÖRN is in fact just a flouncy pashmina.

It's well known that women are easily influenced and have trouble making decisions for themselves, and Tanya fears that the increasingly common sight of a childless woman out in public sets a dangerous precedent. Luckily, she has come up with the perfect solution: a bag of flour.

"I love my childless friends, even if they are denying themselves life's greatest gift. But it would just make me feel way better if when we hung out, they would carry around a bag of flour. Just one! I mean, I have four kids but I wouldn't make anyone carry around four bags of flour – that's crazy. Just one large of bag of flour that they name, dress, and breastfeed in public. It's a modest proposal."

Moms everywhere are cheering on Tanya's efforts, calling her a pioneer in the flour baby movement.

"I feel so much better now," says local pie maker Ronda Burnsmugger. "For a while, I regretted having a baby because I felt like I was missing out on my freedom. But now that I've burdened all of my friends and made them feel the crushing weight of my life choices, I can finally breathe again."

Unfortunately, not everyone is taking to the movement. "This is bullshit. I'm a grown-ass woman, not a high school Sex Ed. student," says one of Burnsmugger's closest friends.

Whine all you want, non-breeders. With flour sales up 400%, the flour baby movement is here to stay.