April Fools' Day is right around the corner, so put on your prankster pants and delight your family with these safe, wholesome, and—most importantly—fun shenanigans!

...have a romantic dinner ready for him. After he's finished eating, go to the kitchen and tell him alluringly that "dessert is coming right up" and instruct him to close his eyes. Tell him to open his eyes, then reveal the divorce papers you've prepared. Surprise!

When your kid finally wakes up, tell 'em they slept through the whole weekend and that they're late for school. Rush to get them ready, pack their lunch, and run to the car. During your run, fake a heart attack and tell your kid that they'll have to drive you to the hospital or else you'll die. When you get to the hospital, slip $20 to a doctor to tell your kid that they didn't get you to the hospital on time and that you've died. Make sure to get a video of your kid bawling their eyes out, and post it on Instagram. What an April Fool!

...step into a busy intersection, and direct traffic. Alternate between not letting any cars enter the intersection for hours on end and instructing drivers to speed down the pedestrian cluttered sidewalks. If/when a real police officer approaches, explain yourself and ask them to help out with your goof!

...extolling him/her of their many virtues, and put your neighbour's address on the return portion of the letter. Before popping the letter into the mail, put some suspicious looking white powdery substance into the envelope. When the federal police show up on your neighbour's doorstep and haul him away, respond to any questions they have with answers like, "Makes sense. He wouldn't stop talking about overthrowing the government." Try to stay in character until the court date, and when you're called to the stand, offer the judge some homemade cookies. Marvel out loud about how the powdery substance from the neighbour's letter looks surprisingly like the very powdered sugar the cookies are topped with, then wink to your neighbour. Good luck not getting a standing ovation for your side-splitting monkeyshines!