Self-harm: St. John's woman bares scars on Facebook to end stigma
CBC News | Posted: January 29, 2016 10:30 PM | Last Updated: January 29, 2016
“Everyday is a struggle ... you learn how to cope with it," says Emma Duffett
Emma Duffett started cutting herself when she was 12-years-old. Now, she's opening up about her years of self-inflicted abuse in the hope of helping others.
"I wanted to show everybody that it's okay to let people in and you don't have to deal with this alone," said Duffett.
"It's a big burden as it is to have a mental illness and … people don't need to deal with it on their own."
She's sharing her story though a new Facebook page called Out of the Darkness
Living in silence
Duffett said she would cut herself many times a day and even though her family knew, it still took her a long time before she could talk about her illness.
"I never talked about it … it's only the last two or three years that I've been able to say the word suicide and I've been suicidal since I was six years old," said Duffett.
"I think it was just a way to let out my frustration, I don't know. It seemed to do something for me to make me feel better in the short term … at the end, it just came that it didn't do anything for me anymore."
Opening up
Duffett said she hasn't hurt herself in around four years.
The images on her Facebook page are graphic, but she believes letting go of her own shame will help others.
"If I can put myself out there to the public ... then maybe I can convince them to share it with somebody and not keep it to themselves," Duffett told CBC.
"The things I've posted are very personal and I've kept them inside for so many years, and so shameful, and you shouldn't be ashamed."
I never talked about it … it's only the last two or three years that I've been able to say the word suicide. - Emma Duffett
Duffett feels that educating people about mental illness is a step in the right direction.
She said her Facebook page has become a resource for parents, friends and teachers who are not sure how to help children who are injuring themselves.
There have been many conversations with families who have lost people to suicide and she said the comments are the same.
"They never knew anything was wrong and if they did they could have done something".
"The biggest thing is just listening and just try your best not to judge because if your child is self harming and having troubles like that, they're already judging their self way more than you could judge them," said Duffett.
"And they just need some support and someone to listen to them and be there for them."
'It's not funny'
As for the negativity that sometimes comes on social media, Duffett said she was ready to do this and can face whatever comes along.
"I've been dealing with this just about my whole life and there's probably nothing anybody can say to me that I haven't already said to myself … I just want to help people," she said
"Mental illness, it's not funny, it's really not funny and if people saw the people I've seen deal with mental illness, and suffer through it for months and months and years and years, they wouldn't find it very funny either."
While Duffett began hurting herself in junior high, she believes — based on comments posted to her page — there are many younger kids who are self harming.
"I think it's very common," she said.
"Back when I was going to school I don't remember anybody else who was dealing with what I was dealing with or doing what I was doing, so it had more stigma back then," she said.
"I didn't even know what it was, I was just doing it and didn't know why and it took me years to figure out why."
Duffett's Facebook page has hundreds of followers and she's planning a conference on self-harm which will include first responders, teachers and medical professionals.
"Everyday is a struggle … it's not something that's going to go away but you learn how to cope with it."