The best worst (Canadian) museum and gallery reviews

The blog Bad Art Museum Reviews brings the laughs, but it's a little light on CanCon

Image | Art Gallery

Caption: To Yelp, or not to Yelp... (Reuters)

Everyone's a critic, but most of us stick to reviewing things we know. Sandwiches, for instance, or more sandwiches.
If you can find an entry on Yelp(external link) for, well, just about anything, the law of the Internet suggests someone will review it, and no one is safe from the blight of a one-star rating. So since October, the blog Bad Art Museum Reviews(external link) has been collecting — sorry, curating — the "best worst museum and gallery reviews" you can Google.
Should your three-year-old have a show at MoMA?(external link) Yes, and he can already spell at a Yelp-grade level.

Image | Bad Art Museum Reviews

Caption: (Bad Art Museum Reviews)

As for New York's famed Guggenheim Museum, it's apparently a one-star "fart" gallery, but a "world-class dump."(external link)

Image | Bad Art Museum Reviews

Caption: (Bad Art Museum Reviews)

Follow the Tumblr(external link) for more, but since we're CBC Arts, we feel there must be a line in our mandate or something requiring us to note that the blog's still light on the CanCon.
To be fair, the only one-star review we could find for Ottawa's National Gallery of Canada(external link) seems to have been posted by mistake — unless they've opened a tow-truck service in the Garden Court(external link). But that doesn't mean the crowd-sourced haterade isn't flowing through our country, from the St. Lawrence to the mighty Fraser River.
Some examples, which we may or may not submit via Tumblr...
A tourist from Calgary left a concerned warning after visiting "that weird thing in Toronto," a.k.a. the Royal Ontario Museum(external link). Tourists beware: Its name is lies, all lies!

Image | Royal Ontario Museum Yelp

Caption: (Yelp)

Despite declaring ROM the "death of Canadian architecture," another visitor nevertheless gave it a solid two stars.

Image | ROM Yelp

Caption: (Yelp)

Architecture was also a major bugaboo for this American tourist, who wanted to drop by Edmonton's Art Gallery of Alberta(external link). If she'd managed to get in, hopefully someone would've told her the building wasn't actually designed by Frank Gehry. (The late Randall Stout was the architect.)

Image | Art Gallery of Alberta Yelp

Caption: (Yelp)

This AGA visitor actually managed to check out the exhibits, which inspired this short-story-as-Yelp-review. It also inspired two very important questions. The first: "How can something be post-modern?" The second: "What is it with this city's obsession with triangles and pyramids?"

Image | AGA Yelp

Caption: (Yelp)

Do you hate art that looks like it was painted by a child? How about a "prepubertal [sic] child?" Definitely avoid the Vancouver Art Gallery(external link), at least according to this guy.

Image | VAG Yelp

Caption: (Yelp)

We expect the same verdict might apply to the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts(external link) — although this Yelp reviewer notes that their collection does indeed, include some "real art, like Monet" alongside "furniture that can be seen in last year's Ikea catalogue."

Image | Montreal Museum of Fine Arts Yelp

Caption: (Yelp)

It all begs the question: What do we, as an audience, need from an art gallery experience? This dude can tell you what we don't. Stupid waterfalls. From his review of Toronto's Art Gallery of Ontario(external link)...

Image | AGO Yelp

Caption: (Yelp)

Badartmuseumreviews.tumblr.com(external link) is where you'll find more reviews like these. (Yelp too, we suppose.)
What galleries and museums do you love — regardless of whether you've given them five stars online? Find CBC Arts on Twitter(external link) and Facebook(external link) and share your favourite places with us!