Researcher says bullying 'scars' into adulthood should be classified as syndrome
The Current has looked into bullying in schools and communities, even the effects of bullying on siblings.
Now new research by Ellen deLara, author of Bullying Scars: The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships, suggests the impact of bullying follows many into adulthood and creates what she has coined Adult Post Bullying Syndrome.
After interviewing people for her book, deLara noticed bully survivors share a collection of issues that aren't identified anywhere else. Her research shows Adult Post Bullying Syndrome hosts positive and negative traits.
"People stay in a poor relationship thinking they don't deserve any better," deLara said due to the low self-esteem and shame carried through adulthood.
But deLara also adds positive traits of the syndrome include bully survivors taking control of their lives to avoid feeling helpless—finding inner strength and an enhanced moral development.
In 1971, Allen Kurzweil met his bully, Cesar Augustus, at the boarding school they both attended in Switzerland. Augustus left a powerful imprint on Kurzweil that led him to confront his bully years later. He chronicles the experience in his memoir, Whipping Boy: The Forty-Year Search for My Twelve-Year-Old Bully.
When Kurzweil met his bully, Cesar, to hold him to account he told host Anna Maria Tremonti, "Much to my surprise, he had no recollection of who I was." Although he adds Cesar later left an apology "of sorts" on voicemail excusing himself of anything he might have done.
Kurzweil says coming to terms with his trauma is largely due to seeing his experience as not a "wound" but a "scar." He adds that scars can be painfully but they also serve as a badge of what he has overcome. "What started out as a burden for me, turned out to be a blessing."
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This segment was produced by The Current's Pacinthe Mattar and Howard Goldenthal.