Retracing my mother's escape from residential school
By Martha Troian
There were always pieces of information missing about my mother, things I didn't know while growing up.
For instance, what her life was like in the North with her family and friends, and her time spent at residential schools. For this radio documentary, I went out to seek those answers.
I was able to get decades-old high school records and in them, learned my mother went to two residential schools and was even sent to the United States for several years for elementary school.
Using my skills as a journalist, I drew up a timeline of mother's life to fill in the gaps. I talked to several residential school survivors who attended the same school my mother did. I reconnected with some of her old friends and family acquaintances.
It was something I could have done for hours, it was easy to get lost in those conversations.
But that doesn't mean this was always an easy thing to do.
In the beginning of this journey, I was shedding more tears, perhaps as expected.
I remember the first time I went to the rail tracks - shortly after Lucy Angeconeb told me the story about how she and my mother ran away with two other girls from residential school. My body felt heavy as I stood there. I remember feeling angry at Canada and how I just wanted to scream.
I went back to the tracks a year later and lit a smudge and placed tobacco down. As I walked down the steel rails, I felt at peace and content knowing that everything was going to be ok.
I was careful with what I shared with my son Zacchary, of course, since he's just a child. Even though he's aware of residential schools and the family members who attended them, I was still very reserved in terms of what information I would share. It's a delicate balance, talking to a young child about such sensitive material and subject matter. I was constantly self-monitoring and assessing myself as to what to share with my son, how to word things, and how to frame our personal connection to residential schools, like so many other Indigenous families do.
Taking my son to the same spot my mother walked down when she was a child, I think made it more real for him. It was an experiential learning process for him, more powerful than just having this conversation at home.
It was important for my son to know about his kokum's - his grandmother's - experience at residential school and how she ran away because, for one, that's our family's experience; and two, it connects these historical events to the present day for him.
He knows, for instance, that we are learning Anishinaabemowin (Ojibwe) because it was taken away from our family due to the residential schools system.
In time, I want my son to know more about his family's history and the country's history. He will only be stronger because of it.
Click LISTEN to hear what happened when Martha Troian's mother fled from Pelican Lake Residential School with three other girls... and what it was like for Martha to recreate that journey with her son, Zacchary.
Martha Troian's documentary was made in collaboration with the CBC's Doc Project Mentorship Program.
Special thanks to Melody McKiver for her music composition, Reckoning, which is featured in the documentary.