Love at first sight isn't always the case in fatherhood

"I guess I really expected that you're going to look into your baby's eyes and that you're going to be overwhelmed by love for them. But, that didn't happen," says Jeff Wheeldon

Wheeldon didn't feel that love for over half a year after his son, Sam, was born.

"That just came with an incredible sense of guilt. Like, what kind of monster am I?"

Sleep deprivation didn't help.

"[T]here were points where I had no conscious thought. There was no reasoning process. I just felt this screaming bundle of need in my arms was more than I could handle."

It took Wheeldon some time to realize that the expectation of instantly bonding with your child isn't  fair or realistic. Stories of parents also struggling helped, including an extreme story of a parent who killed herself and her children.

"I was able to listen to that story with a lot of sympathy for her, not because I thought it was ok what she did, but because I recognized that here's someone whose come to an end of themself in a way that I can just sort of catch a glimpse of now."

 Wheeldon says he has an incredible bond with his son now.

"I cant even wait for him to get up from his nap. Some days  I spend his nap time looking at pictures of him, or videos of him."