Hannah: Stop pleasing and start trusting connection

Hannah has found a range of ways to earn love and protect herself from getting hurt. In Dr. Hillary McBride's words, she "has found a way to stay connected to people by figuring out who they want her to be, and then being that." The two work to help Hannah trust that she can show up as her authentic self, and to believe that she is lovable as she is.

Listen for: 

• How Hannah experiments with seeing herself through the eyes of someone who loves her unconditionally
• How our defenses can also make us feel alone. "Sometimes I feel really invisible." 
• How our fear of being left or abandoned sometimes prevents us from enjoying the experience of being connected to someone while it lasts. Hillary uses a metaphor of the last piece of a delicious pie. You would eat it and enjoy it. Not eat it worrying that it's going to end. 

Quotes from the episode

• "I like having these moments with you where I get to see the parts of you that are often tucked away behind the defenses, it actually makes me like you more, it makes me feel closer to you." - Hillary
• "You've been so scared about people leaving that you haven't been able to relax into being yourself." - Hillary
• "We're using our relationship as the prototype for a new form of connection for you where you practice showing up, and letting yourself be seen, and taking in other people's affection." - Hillary