Ellie: Abusive with me, but loves our daughter

"When I got to a point where he was being violent with me in front of her, there was no turning back from that."

Ellie's decision to leave her abusive relationship has restored her sparkle. But how does she foster a good relationship between him and their daughter without getting hurt again?

Listen for:

• It's important to change your expectations of hurtful people. They might not reciprocate your kindness. "Start to cut some of those strings in your heart that are attached to the story that he's going to be kind to you back." - Hillary

• How desperately Ellie wanted to stay in the violent relationship for her daughter, until she realized her daughter was aware of the violence. Children are more shaped by what we do, what we live out, than what we say.

• How Ellie's demeanour and outlook has transformed since she left the abusive relationship.

• AEDP - therapeutic intervention that focuses on celebrating the goodness in people.