Sober love: When your dating pool shrinks 'down to a puddle'

When Helen Knott got sober five years ago, her dating pool got a lot smaller.  

"It had shrunk from the ocean, down to a creek, down to a puddle. It's changed drastically," she said.

Location certainly plays a factor. Knott lives in Fort St. John — a city in northeastern B.C. with just over 20,000 residents. And when you're looking for somebody who is sober and a good match, you can see how those numbers start shrinking fast.

"It's definitely been a challenge," she said. "Geography kind of goes out the window, especially when you live in the North."

Knott (Dane Zaa/Nehiyaw) is a poet, graduate student and self-described "accidental activist." She is also the focus of the recent CBC documentary, directed by Coty Savard, Peace River Rising. 

One scene in particular captures a recurring conversation that Knott has with her Grandma — who often asks if Knott has "found a man yet?"

When asked why it's important for her to date someone who is sober, Knott first speaks about her young son.

"I've really worked at normalizing sobriety for him — and not only for him, but for the young people in my families," she said.

"And knowing that I need somebody who has that for themselves, just because that's where I'm at."

Knott says being single can get lonely. But it's something she's embraced as a temporary state, a feeling that comes and goes in waves.

"Even though it is lonely and you have to make a lot of hard choices to stand by what you feel that you need, there's love under all of that. And it's love for self."

To hear more from Helen about dating sober in a small city, click the 'listen' button above. And to watch the full version of the documentary Peace River Rising, click the play button below.