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The AIH transcript for December 20, 2024

For more episodes of this podcast, please click this link.

NIL KÖKSAL: Hello, I'm Nil Köksal.

CHRIS HOWDEN: Good evening, I'm Chris Howden. This is As It Happens.

[theme]

CH: Tonight:

NK: Graveyard shifts. Justin Trudeau rearranged his cabinet today, but Liberal MP Wayne Long says the Prime Minister needs to stop shuffling and just shuffle off.

CH: Art appreciation. A new proposal in the fall economic statement suggests a change to the copyright act that would give artists a cut when a work is resold. An artist in Nunavut is happy with that new creative accounting.

NK: Traumatic post stress. Facebook moderators in Kenya sue the social media platform for failing to prepare them to see distressing content -- and failing to provide support afterwards.

CH: Moment of tooth. A couple in New York state were shocked to discover that what they thought was some kid's old baseball in their backyard was actually two massive old mastodon teeth, connected to a well-preserved jaw.

NK: A very hairy Christmas. Tonight's holiday story is O. Henry's The Gift of the Magi read by Fireside Al Maitland -- the story of Jim and Della and their ill-fated efforts to buy each other the perfect gift. One of which is a set of combs.

CH: And...passing the snifter test. An enormous breakthrough enables AI to differentiate between American and Scotch whisky simply by odour, which will be very helpful because -- huh, it doesn't say here.

CH: As It Happens, the Friday Edition. Radio that knows the stuff that drams are made of.

Part 1: Cabinet Shuffle, Kenyan FB Moderators, Mastodon Tooth

Cabinet Shuffle

Guest: Wayne Long

CH: He had a very prominent cabinet leaver this week. But today, Justin Trudeau found some takers. The Prime Minister added eight new ministers to his cabinet and moved four existing ministers to new positions. In normal times, these are jobs that politicians dream of. But these aren't normal times: Mr. Trudeau is reportedly rethinking his future, and the list of Liberal backbenchers calling for his resignation has only grown longer since Chrystia Freeland's see-ya-wouldn't-want-to-be-ya goodbye note. So, in Ottawa today, reporters wanted to know why the newly-appointed and newly reassigned ministers decided to show Prime Minister Trudeau their support. Here's Anita Anand.

SOUNDCLIP

ANITA ANAND: I believe this is a moment where we need to stand united. We need to stand united in the face of a growing incoming American presidency, a growing threat to our domestic economy, which is why I'm so pleased to be taking on the role of Minister of Transport and Internal Trade. We need a Team Canada approach, not only in the United States but in our own country. We need to grow our domestic economy, and we need to work together to do that.

CH: Wayne Long is a New Brunswick Liberal MP who's been one of the most outspoken voices calling for Justin Trudeau to resign. We reached Mr. Long in St John.

NK: Wayne Long, does Anita Anand have a point there about the importance of unity right now in your party?

WAYNE LONG: You know, listening to the words, you know, I can't help but think it's the same as somebody saying, you know, on the deck of the Titanic that, you know, we need to stand united while the ship is, is sinking, and being somewhat oblivious to everything else that's going around her or us or the party or what have you. So, you know, I mean, obviously, I've got a lot of respect for Anita. She's an amazing minister and amazing MP and colleague, but you need to look around and see what's happening. You need to read the room and you need to react according to the situation. And I think just putting blinders up, saying we all need to hold hands and skip past the graveyard, it's just, it's just, it's not, it's not realistic.

NK: You paint vivid images there, certainly. But is it, is it blinders or is it just they don't agree with you and they think that if they, if they band together right now, that might be more powerful even in this really explosive time.

WL: You know, you can band together and, you know, present a united front. But reality is it's not a united front. You can't pretend that it's a united front. I mean, you know, the recent polling I saw this morning had us down since Chrystia Freeland departure more, 25 points down to the Conservatives. I mean, just think of these numbers, okay? Eleven per cent of Canadians think we deserve to be reelected. Sixty-seven per cent of Canadians want the prime minister to go. You know, we, we wrap ourselves as a party of data and science. Well, show me something that tells me that we're on a good trajectory here. We're not. And look, the cabinet shuffle is wonderful. Everybody there, congratulations. Especially, obviously, my, my great friends and colleagues, Joanne Thompson and Darren Fisher from Atlantic Canada. They're going to be great ministers. But, you know, my worry is they're going to be ministers for about 12 weeks.

NK: The numbers that you were citing, the poll numbers, even if Mr. Trudeau were to, to step aside, do you think you can get those numbers back to where you'd like to see them?

WL: Without a question.

NK: How?

WL: Without a question. Yeah, there's polling that's been done, and I think that there would be an immediate 10 to 12-point jump with the new leader. Politics is obviously a rough game and a difficult game. And I've always likened politics to a candle where you have your wick. And every day, every month, every year, you burn in a little of that political wick. And, sadly, is it fair? No. But the prime minister's political wick is burned out. And people have turned on him. And people are tired of him. And, you know, it's more than just people are mad at him for a certain thing. People have just tuned Justin Trudeau out. You don't get that back.

NK: NDP leader Jagmeet Singh, as you've seen, I'm sure, said for the first time today, quote, The NDP will vote to bring this government down in the next sitting of the House of Commons, unquote. How does that change things for you and for your colleagues?

WL: Well, I mean, I've, with respect, I'm not sure, I really fully believe everything that Jagmeet Singh or the NDP have said. I think we've kind of seen this before with the, you know, tearing up of the supply and confidence agreements and so on and so forth. So, you know what? If he's true to his word, there will be an election in March, April, if is true to his word. We'll see about that.

NK: How are you feeling of that prospect?

WL: It depends on really where the NDP go with that. Again, that being said, that look, here's, here's a roadmap. Justin Trudeau should, who's done a great job. Like nobody dislikes Justin Trudeau in our party. It's not about that. But if I'm Justin Trudeau, I take Christmas, I enjoy Christmas. The week of January 6th, I step down as leader of the Liberal Party. I stay on as interim prime minister. I prorogue. I call a leadership convention for the end of February. We elect a new leader. We come forth with a throne speech, a budget and into an election. So in an election, basically in April-May.

NK: That's a roadmap that you can live with, that you think will be successful for your party?

WL: Well, I mean, it remains to be seen whether it's successful for the party. But you have to, again, read the room, listen to Canadians, listen to what our constituents are telling us. Like I'm an elected member who is elected to represent the views of my riding in Ottawa. And my riding, screaming to me that they don't want to vote for us and they will vote for Pierre Poilievre,

even though they don't want to because they do not want to elect Justin Trudeau to a fourth term. It's really unfortunate, but that's where we're at.

NK: The fact the prime minister has not addressed Canadians directly since those bombshells on Monday, since Chrystia Freeland's resignation, what do you make of that fact?

WL: I'm disappointed by it. I would liken it to, you know, my past world in business, where, you know, if a company has an issue or there's problems, the CEO takes a leadership role. Like, a leader will stand in and talk to Canadians. He owes Canadians a discussion of where he's at. And avoiding it only postpones the inevitable.

NK: Wayne Long, I appreciate your time. Thank you.

WL: Pleasure.

CH: Wayne Long is a New Brunswick Liberal MP. We reached him earlier today in St. John. And Prime Minister Trudeau did break his silence later in the afternoon. Here's what he said to reporters on his way out of a meeting with his new cabinet.

SOUNDCLIP

CH: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Ottawa.

[newsy theme]

Kenyan FB Moderators

Guest: Martha Dark

CH: They were supposed to be Facebook's first line of defence -- charged with catching posts that crossed the line. But they say little was done to protect them. Now, former content moderators in Kenya are suing the social media platform and the outsourcing company that hired them. According to their suit, most have been diagnosed with severe PTSD, stemming from exposure to graphic photos and videos of violence without appropriate support. The lawsuit is supported by Foxglove, a U.K.-based nonprofit focused on the rights of tech workers. Martha Dark is the founder and director of Foxglove. We reached her in London. And I will warn you that there's some discussion of disturbing material.

NK: Martha, generally speaking, what were these moderators seeing every day on the job that was so upsetting?

MARTHA DARK: Content moderators are the essential safety workers of the Internet. Is their job to review content that's uploaded by users like you and I. And these workers were reviewing all sorts of material, everything from, you know, cat names or pictures of family to extreme violence, child pornography, beheadings. To be honest, some of the worst content you can imagine. And they weren't just reviewing it once. They were reviewing it over and over again every day of the week for up to eight hours a day.

NK: And what have they said about the impacts, the long-term impacts, of this?

NK: Ultimately, what would justice look like at the end of this case?

MD: What I think has been revealed in this evidence and throughout this case is just how dangerous Facebook's working conditions are for content moderators. And this is a choice. There are steps that could be made to make this work safer and fairer. Psychiatric care, the right to have your union be formed, to be respected and proper pay for what is complicated, difficult, skilled work. And so, there are lots of things that could be done to make this work better. And I think if we, and safer, and I think if we look at other industries, in any other industry, if this, if work was causing entire workforces to have life-changing illnesses, there will be huge consequences.

NK: As we've been having this conversation, we've been talking about the work these particular folks, these litigants, were doing. But I suspect that this work is still ongoing. It's being done by others now, still.

MD: Content moderation is a huge industry globally. Social media doesn't exist without content moderation. The only thing that keeps your news feed on your social media safe of hate and violence is a human workforce around the world. And it's tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people for different social media companies. And their job is essential to keep social media safe for users.

NK: Given the the hunger, the constant use, you know, millions and millions of people on these platforms, and what you've seen so far, your concerns with what you've said the company is doing and how it's treating workers. I mean, do you see any sign that this case, even at this stage or the headlines around it, have brought some change? I mean, do you think that there's going to be change on this front?

MD: I very much hope so. I mean, there are 180 very brave content moderators who are taking Facebook on in this case. And Facebook has been fighting tooth and nail to say that it shouldn't be sued in the Kenyan courts. That it's an American company, it shouldn't be sued in Kenya. And multiple different judges have disagreed with that. Most recently, the Court of Appeal has said that Facebook can be sued in Kenya. So, it's now really time that this case move on to the substance of the issues so that the court can properly address some of the issues here around the treatment of these workers, and what's happened to them, and what needs to change for, for these workers moving forward.

NK: Martha, thank you.

MD: Thank you so much for having me.

CH: Martha Dark is the founder and director of Foxglove, a U.K.-based nonprofit focused on tech workers' rights. We reached her in London.

[ambient instrumental]

Mastodon Tooth

Guest: Cory Harris

CH: At first, they thought the thing sticking out of the grass in their New York backyard was an old baseball. But they quickly came to the realization that it definitely was not that. So the couple took it to archeologist Cory Harris to make sure their eyes weren't deceiving them -- because their eyes were telling them it was two enormous mastodon teeth. This week, the findings on those teeth were announced by the New York State Department of Education -- which runs the New York State Museum where the artifact is being studied. Mr. Harris, the archaeologist, is also the chair of the behavioural sciences department at Orange County Community College. We reached him in Goshen, New York.

NK: Cory, does it happen a lot that, that people come into your office very excited about something they really want to show you? It must be historic, it must be worth something, but then it never is. Does that happen a lot?

CORY HARRIS: Yeah. I mean, maybe not a lot, but more than other jobs. You know, teaching archeology, people will come to you with things they find in their yard. And typically, they're really, really excited about it. And you are put in the position of having to disappoint them. Of ssying, nah, you know, it's probably just, ah, it looks more like a weird rock [NK chuckles] than anything else.

NK: So, when, when this couple says we found something, and then you realize it's not a rock, it's, [both chuckle] you're looking at mastodon teeth.

CORY HARRIS: Yeah.

NK: What is the appropriate word to describe your feeling in that moment?

CORY HARRIS: I mean, my personal feeling in that moment was just it was, it was astonishing to, to actually see them. And, to be fair, the couple definitely knew they had something special when they brought it in. They initially thought when seeing it from afar, it was a baseball. But when they came closer, it was clear that this was something, you know, pretty spectacular. So, they brought it in, and I verified that, yes, you've got something really, really special here. And, you know, in the county I live in and work in, there have been a lot of mastodons found over the last basically 250 years. But this was the first time I was personally involved in it. So, it was really, really exciting.

NK: There's a lot that's fascinating there, just the number of discoveries of mastodons in, of course, what is and has for a long time been New York. But people may be surprised there were mastodons in that region.

CORY HARRIS: Yeah, you know, it is surprising just because obviously they're not around anymore. But the county here, Orange County, is one of the major, major concentrations of mastodon finds anywhere in the country. So, it is a bit of our unofficial, I mean, I kind of wish it was our official, but it's sort of an unofficial county mascot.

NK: [chuckles] Well, maybe this will help get you to, to achieve your wish.

CORY HARRIS: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

NK: Just describe for our listeners, we've had a chance to look at the pictures as we prepared for, for this conversation. But what do these, these teeth look like?

CORY HARRIS: So, the, the part that would have been exposed, you know, when the animal was alive, that it would been chewing with, is was the molar, which is the back, you know, kind of grinding teeth. And they have a couple of rows of pretty distinct ridges coming up off of them. But definitely what stands out, I mean, to me, they kind of look like molars. They're different than human molars, of course, but they do kind of, you get the sense that's what they are. But, you know, the thing that definitely, you know, just strikes you immediately is their size.

NK: Yeah.

CORY HARRIS: You know, roughly the kind of grinding surface. If, you know, you make a fist, it's a little bit bigger than your fist that, that surface. So it's it's clearly one of the biggest teeth. I mean, it was the biggest tooth I've ever seen in person when they brought it in.

NK: And in pretty great condition, it looks like.

CORY HARRIS: Yeah, they were in really, really excellent condition, especially considering how that when the property owners found them, the two teeth that they brought in were actually literally on the surface. And typically, you know, you're not, that's not going to, that's not great for preservation long term. So, you know, it's really, really puzzling at some level how, how long they've been on the surface. But it can't be terribly long. But it is a, it was really, really just, again, amazing to see the condition they were in and then have them just be brought right into my office.

NK: And had they just been doing some landscaping or had they just moved in and, and seen the property, how how did they come across?

CORY HARRIS: They'd just been doing some landscaping. There was parts of their yard that had been kind of recently cleared off just of, you know, kind of overgrowth. And it just slowly revealed itself, you know, as over time and doing basic landscaping activity, it wasn't any, you know, construction project or moving in for the first time. It was just run-of-the-mill yard work.

NK: So then you and a team, which includes a paleontologist, go to their backyard to try to do some more digging. What did that reveal?

CORY HARRIS: Yeah. So, the couple brought in the teeth. But when we went out to the site because we did go out to the site the next week, myself and paleontologist. And poking around in the grass a little while, it was, or not even a little while, just a couple of minutes, it was clear that there were two other teeth in the ground. And so, some initial excavation revealed that those teeth were stuck. And that suggested they were stuck in something, not just the ground, you know, they wouldn't wiggle. So, the jaw, basically the complete jaw, is, was under the two teeth that were poking out of the surface. So, yeah, right now for this mastodon, we have, or the museum has, what has been recovered is the four molars, basically a complete jaw. And surprisingly, there's like a toe bone and the tip of a rib bone that was also in the excavation unit that we completed.

NK: After, after a discovery like this one, are you going to be more excited or less excited when those, [CORY

HARRIS chuckles] when those folks keep coming to your office with a box of rocks?

CORY HARRIS: No, it's always going to be some, if it ends up being something like this, you're always excited. You know, I've been teaching at the college for close to 20 years now, and it does, there are times, you know, you get bogged down in kind of administrative things. But every time a possibility like this opens, you know, reveals itself, it, it definitely stirs the excitement that got you interested in your field in the first place.

NK: I bet it does.

CORY HARRIS: Yeah.

NK: Cory, a pleasure speaking with you. Thank you.

CORY HARRIS: Okay. Thanks a lot, Nil.

CH: Cory Harris is an archaeologist and the chair of the behavioural sciences department at Orange County Community College. He's in Goshen, New York.

[funk]

AI Whiskey

SOUNDCLIP

BRIAN COX: Knockando. Glenlivet. The Macallan. Tobermory. Tomatin. Tomintoul.

CH: Scottish actor Brian Cox correctly pronouncing the names of dozens of Scotch whiskies. A job only a human can do because artificial intelligence can't say Royal Lochnagar. But, as an industry that has invested billions in AI keeps telling us, AI is absolutely amazing at pretty much every other task. Including one crucial whiskey-related task. Now, you and I can only do this through the frankly primitive process of snorting fragrance molecules into two of the multiple tunnels in our heads. And then we say things like, "It's peaty yet floral?" because all we smell is whiskey and we have to say something. But AI has proven remarkably skilled at identifying the particular aromas of Scottish and American whiskies. Not, [scoff] not by any act as barbaric and inefficient as smelling -- but by analyzing gas chromatography-mass spectrometry that indicates the molecules that are present. Finally, technology has delivered on its promise to make our boneheaded noses obsolete -- replacing them with a vastly superior "AI molecular odour prediction algorithm". A development that, in multiple tests, was able to differentiate American whiskey from Scotch whisky 100 per cent of the time. Which will be invaluable tech for anyone who poured themselves a glass of American or Scotch whiskey but then forgot which one they'd poured, and needed to find out for sure for some reason, but can't just read it off the label because they lost the bottle somehow. Otherwise, this development seems kind of like a glass of whiskey with ice melting in it: not really very neat.

[Christmas toy shop music]

Part 2: Can Artist Royalties

Can Artist Royalties

Guest: Janet Pitsiulaaq Brewster

CH: Vincent Van Gogh spent two years in the Dutch boondocks, living with his parents. Johannes Vermeer made no money as an innkeeper, an art dealer, or an artist. The starving artist trope may be kind of a cliché, but those are just two famous examples. And some governments are trying to prevent more. In dozens of countries -- including Australia, the Netherlands and Britain -- artists and their estates are entitled to resale royalties -- meaning they can reap the benefits if and when their work appreciates in value. And now, Canada is weighing whether to do the same. Nestled in the fall economic statement is a proposal to amend the Copyright Act so Canadian artists can cash in on resold art. That's especially good news for Janet Pitsiulaaq Brewster. She's an artist and the MLA for Iqaluit Sinaa in Nunavut. We reached her in Iqaluit.

NK: Janet Pitsiulaaq Brewster, did seeing this proposal in the economic statement feel like a victory to you?

JANET PITSIULAAQ BREWSTER: It certainly did. There, there are so many reasons that, that it's important, mainly because of the potential impact on current Innuit artists who are living, and, and their families who are also creative.

NK: What have artists there told you about what a change like this would, would mean for them?

JPB: One of the things that we know is that over 30 per cent of Nunavut Innuit self-identified as artists. The impact of the arts on the economy in Nunavut is so great. They make at least $50 million towards the Canadian GDP, which, which is probably very much valued on their own. On average, about $12 an hour for the work that they're creating. So often when, when their art is sold, they're not compensated as fairly as they could be. And this is an opportunity for living artists as well as the artists' families who are left behind to contribute more to society, more art to society, as well as to contribute to their, their lived daily lives.

NK: It sounds like there's a, there's a couple of layers here. There's, of course, the financial aspects that people are reimbursed or could be reimbursed properly for what they're making and the art that's being produced and sold and resold. But also, the recognition.

JPB: Certainly.

NK: To give our listeners an example, Kenojuak Ashevak's The Enchanted Owl in 1960 went for well, well under $100. But more recently, a trial print of that piece sold for $366,000 here in Canada. What would this proposal, this change, have changed in that situation? What would that have meant to Kenojuak Ashevak?

JPB: She has left a legacy of, of artists within her own family. What we know as artists is that it costs money to create art. And if her family was able to, to access money from that resale, it would not only help, help feed the family now and help them in their lives, it would also help create more art because people would have more money in order to, to buy the supplies that they need to create art.

NK: You've been pushing for a change like this for a long time. So, as you know, but to let our listeners know, gallery owners have have challenged this idea and have challenged it in Parliament in the past, saying that this art can go through a number of hands before it gets to a gallery so that royalties would add up. So they say that rules like this could ultimately make them reluctant to take a chance on emerging artists, including artists from the North. What do you make of that assertion, that argument?

JPB: You know, when it comes to, to galleries, you know, for example, my, my daughter was recently featured at a gallery in Montreal, amidst a number of other emerging artists. And the gallery took 40 per cent of the sales of the work of those artists. And often, emerging artists will take opportunities like that and accept that 40 per cent from their sales in order to advance people's knowledge of their work. However, it is really important not just to become known. It is also important to be able to continue to create by the label to earn somewhat of a living wage.

NK: Why do you think a change like this has not come in this, in this field?

JPB: Well, I think change always takes time. And it can be more difficult for people who, who are not as empowered as those who are making the profits and making the money to, to be able to come forward and create that knowledge and impetus for change. It really is time for that change to happen.

NK: It would require a majority vote in Parliament to, to get that proposed amendment through. You know what is happening with the Liberal government right now. Are you worried that it's not actually going to become a reality as soon as, as you had hoped?

JPB: I am. I read the, the statements or the, the plan and was elated at first. And then, and then, [chuckling] reality set in. The Liberals are in a precarious state right now. I would hope that knowing, knowing that we have our member of Parliament and representing the NDP, I would hope that our member of Parliament would take this into account when she decides how she's voting about any motion to dissolve this government.

NK: In the meantime, what would you say, what are you saying, to artists, you know, having to work in the current status quo about what they should do, how, how they should make sure their art is valued -- if they can?

JPB: What we know about the creation of art is that artists are often creating as a way to go to a place that is good and kind and healthy to ourselves. And, and that's the most important impact.

NK: Janet Pitsiulaaq Brewster, I appreciate your time. Thank you.

JPB: Thank you very much.

CH: Janet Pitsiulaaq Brewster is the MLA for Iqaluit Sinaa in Nunavut and an artist. She's in Iqaluit.

[ambient]

Reading: ‘Gift of the Magi’

CH: It's the most wonderful time of the year and everything. But at some point over the next few weeks, you will receive the dreaded credit card statement from this month -- reminding you that you may have overspent a bit on presents this year, yet again. Well, in tonight's holiday reading, Jim and Della are both very aware that they have overextended themselves. But there's a lesson in there as well -- one that may stave off a bit of the anxiety you're experiencing right now. Here's former As It Happens host Al Maitland reading O. Henry's classic 1905 story, The Gift of the Magi.

Reading:

FIRESIDE AL MAITLAND: One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one's cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty-seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas.

There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it. Which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.

While the mistress of the home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second, take a look at the home. A furnished flat at eight dollars per week. It did not exactly beggar description, but it certainly had that word on the lookout for the mendicancy squad.

In the vestibule below was a letter-box into which no letter would go, and an electric button from which no mortal finger could coax a ring. Also appertaining thereunto was a card bearing the name "Mr. James Dillingham Young."

The "Dillingham" had been flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity when its possessor was being paid $30 per week. Now, when the income was shrunk to $20, though, they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and unassuming D. But whenever Mr. James Dillingham Young came home and reached his flat above he was called "Jim" and greatly hugged by Mrs. James Dillingham Young, already introduced to you as Della. Which is all very good.

Della finished her cry and attended to her cheeks with the powder rag. She stood by the window and looked out dully at a gray cat walking a gray fence in a gray backyard. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only $1.87 with which to buy Jim a present. She had been saving every penny she could for months, with this result. Twenty dollars a week doesn't go far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated. They always are. Only $1.87 to buy a present for Jim. Her Jim. Many a happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him. Something fine and rare and sterling– something just a little bit near to being worthy of the honor of being owned by Jim.

There was a pier-glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen a pier-glass in an $8 flat. A very thin and very agile person may, by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence of longitudinal strips, obtain a fairly accurate conception of his looks. Della, being slender, had mastered the art.

Suddenly she whirled from the window and stood before the glass. Her eyes were shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its color within twenty seconds. Rapidly she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its full length.

Now, there were two possessions of the James Dillingham Youngs in which they both took a mighty pride. One was Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's. The other was Della's hair. Had the queen of Sheba lived in the flat across the airshaft, Della would have let her hair hang out the window someday to dry just to depreciate Her Majesty's jewels and gifts. Had King Solomon been the janitor, with all his treasures piled up in the basement, Jim would have pulled out his watch every time he passed, just to see him pluck at his beard from envy.

So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. It reached below her knee and made itself almost a garment for her. And then she did it up again nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and stood still while a tear or two splashed on the worn red carpet.

On went her old brown jacket; on went her old brown hat. With a whirl of skirts and with the brilliant sparkle still in her eyes, she fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street. [lb[ Where she stopped the sign read: "Mme. Sofronie. Hair Goods of All Kinds." One flight up Della ran, and collected herself, panting. Madame, large, too white, chilly, hardly looked the "Sofronie."

"Will you buy my hair?" asked Della.

"I buy hair," said Madame. "Take yer hat off and let's have a sight at the looks of it."

Down rippled the brown cascade.

"Twenty dollars," said Madame, lifting the mass with a practised hand.

"Give it to me quick," said Della.

Oh, and the next two hours tripped by on rosy wings. Forget the hashed metaphor. She was ransacking the stores for Jim's present.

She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the stores, and she had turned all of them inside out. It was a platinum fob chain simple and chaste in design, properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation– as all good things should do. It was even worthy of The Watch. As soon as she saw it she knew that it must be Jim's. It was like him. Quietness and value– the description applied to both. Twenty-one dollars they took from her for it, and she hurried home with the 87 cents. With that chain on his watch Jim might be properly anxious about the time in any company. Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it on the sly on account of the old leather strap that he used in place of a chain.

When Della reached home her intoxication gave way a little to prudence and reason. She got out her curling irons and lighted the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made by generosity added to love. Which is always a tremendous task, dear friends– a mammoth task.

Within forty minutes her head was covered with tiny, close-lying curls that made her look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her reflection in the mirror long, carefully, and critically.

"If Jim doesn't kill me," she said to herself, "before he takes a second look at me, he'll say I look like a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do– oh! what could I do with a dollar and eighty- seven cents?"

At 7 o'clock the coffee was made and the frying-pan was on the back of the stove hot and ready to cook the chops.

Jim was never late. Della doubled the fob chain in her hand and sat on the corner of the table near the door that he always entered. Then she heard his step on the stair away down on the first flight, and she turned white for just a moment. She had a habit for saying little silent prayer about the simplest everyday things, and now she whispered: "Please God, make him think I am still pretty."

The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it. He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow, he was only twenty-two– and to be burdened with a family! He needed a new overcoat and he was without gloves.

Jim stopped inside the door, as immovable as a setter at the scent of quail. His eyes were fixed upon Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not read, and it terrified her. It was not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any of the sentiments that she had been prepared for. He simply stared at her fixedly with that peculiar expression on his face.

Della wriggled off the table and went for him.

"Jim, darling," she cried, "don't look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold because I couldn't have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. It'll grow out again– you won't mind, will you? I just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast. Say `Merry Christmas!' Jim, and let's be happy. You don't know what a nice – what a beautiful, nice gift I've got for you."

"You've cut off your hair?" asked Jim, laboriously, as if he had not arrived at that patent fact yet even after the hardest mental labor.

"Cut it off and sold it," said Della. "Don't you like me just as well, anyhow? I'm me without my hair, ain't I?"

Jim looked about the room curiously.

"You say your hair is gone?" he said, with an air almost of idiocy.

"You needn't look for it," said Della. "It's sold, I tell you– sold and gone, too. It's Christmas Eve, boy. Be good to me, for it went for you. Maybe the hairs of my head were numbered," she went on with sudden serious sweetness, "but nobody could ever count my love for you. Shall I put the chops on, Jim?"

Out of his trance Jim seemed quickly to wake. He enfolded his Della. For ten seconds let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential object in the other direction. Eight dollars a week or a million a year – what is the difference? A mathematician or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. This dark assertion will be illuminated later on.

Jim drew a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon the table.

"Don't make any mistake, Dell," he said, "about me. I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut or a shave or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less. But if you'll unwrap that package you may see why you had me going a while at first."

White fingers and nimble tore at the string and paper. And then an ecstatic scream of joy; and then, alas! A quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails, necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of the lord of the flat.

For there lay The Combs– the set of combs, side and back, that Della had worshipped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell, with jewelled rims– just the shade to wear in the beautiful vanished hair. They were expensive combs, she knew, and her heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the least hope of possession. And now, they were hers, but the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone.

But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length she was able to look up with dim eyes and a smile and say: "My hair grows so fast, Jim!"

And them Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried, "Oh, oh!"

Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present. She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm. The dull precious metal seemed to flash with a reflection of her bright and ardent spirit.

"Isn't it a dandy, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it."

Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of his head and smiled.

"Dell," said he, "let's put our Christmas presents away and keep 'em a while. They're too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on."

The magi, as you know, were wise men– wonderfully wise men– who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi.

The AIH Transcript For December 20, 2024

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